It is unwise to seek personal acquaintance with people whom one has regarded with high esteem, as they often fail to fulfil one’s expectations, resulting in disappointment. In other words, never meet your heroes - they’ll only let you down. What a load of rubbish!
Thanks to my TV and radio shows on the BBC, I’ve been incredibly lucky to meet many of my favourite stars - everyone from football legends like Joe Jordan and Kevin Keegan to singing sensations Neil Sedaka and Tony Christie - and they were all absolute gents.
Ditto my No1 performer of all-time, the one and only Engelbert Humperdinck (sorry, Syd) who I’ve seen “live” between Glasgow and Las Vegas about a dozen times. I interviewed the big man at his sprawling Leicestershire mansion back in 2005 for a Radio Scotland series called Cowan Meets The Crooners and he was terrific value.
That same year - as secretly organised by my pop journo pal Billy Sloan - the Release Me crooner sent a surprise video message to my wedding reception. Cool, eh? However, I’m afraid The Hump went right down in my estimations this week and, instead of wishing him a happy birthday as he blows out 87 candles on his cake, I’m blowing him a big raspberry.
You see, folks, according to his Instagram page, he’s jumped on the Cameo bandwagon (a website and app that lets you request personalised messages from celebrities) which means Engelbert is now charging fans £276 - yes, that’s 276 QUID! - for a wee “hello” on video. That’s the same fans who’ve spent fortunes on albums, concert tickets and merchandise throughout his glittering and highly lucrative 60-year career.
Exactly how much money does a man nudging 90 need?!? And here’s another question: will I now receive an invoice for my wedding video in 2005? It’s all a bit tawdry and, in the run-up to this year’s Eurovision Song Contest, here’s something I’d never have dreamed of saying at the time… I’m DELIGHTED he got pumped by those Russian grannies in 2012!
In other celebrity news, I see Ant & Dec have been slammed over a quip about Happy Mondays frontman Shaun Ryder on I’m A Celeb… South Africa. After introducing the first three contestants - Carol, Amir and Jordan - the one with the unfeasibly large forehead said: “Before they could head into the camp, they faced a challenge that meant they would be higher than Shaun Ryder in the 90s.”
OK, it’s hardly Frankie Boyle stuff. But surely just a wee bit rich from a the convicted drink-driver who, in 2018, crashed his car while over twice the legal limit? Pots and kettles, Tefal-heid.
Meanwhile, Scotland’s very own Nicola Benedetti says she’s very attached to the violin she plays all over the globe - a Stradivarius dating from 1717 that’s worth £10m - but admits it’s increasingly difficult getting travel insurance for something that’s 300 years old. “Yeah, it’s the same when we go on holiday,” said Richard Madeley…
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