After more than 140 attempts, on Monday, little San Marino won only their second-ever competitive match since starting to play men’s international football in 1990, and also scored more than once in a competitive match for the first time . This just goes to show you, however dismal your scores usually are, you never quite know when the stars will align, and your obscure knowledge will match the cobbled-together old junk of the Thursday quiz. 15 questions on topical news and general knowledge await you, so have fun!
The Thursday quiz, No 187
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Delicious UK cheeses have been cruelly denied entrance to the World Cheese Awards thanks to customs red tape. Where were the World Cheese Awards being held this year?
France
Poland
Portugal
US
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Who had to be hauled out by firefighters after they got stuck in a swimming pool in Rutland?
An overweight collie named Buster
A pregnant cow
A pregnant sow
Gary Barlow's massive son
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Who has said they have bought the website Infowars (pictured), auctioned off after conspiracy theorist Alex Jones was declared bankrupt?
The New York Times
Buzzfeed
The Onion
Reddit
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Sea boffins (the correct technical term) have discovered what they say is the world's biggest coral. Where?
Solomon Islands
New Caledonia
Fiji
Vanuatu
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Who will shortly be treading the boards in London's West End (not pictured) as Prospero in a new production of Shakespeare's The Tempest?
Gillian Anderson
Tilda Swinton
Cate Blanchett
Sigourney Weaver
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It seems there are more dictionaries than days of the week, and each of them has to declare their "word of the year". After Collins picked "brat" as their word of the year a couple of weeks back, what has the Cambridge dictionary opted for?
Delulu
Yapping
Manifest
Raxacoricofallapatorian
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Who has said they weren't asked about using their vocal on the 40th-anniversary remix of Band Aid, and would rather not have been featured?
Ed Sheeran
Boy George
Damon Albarn
Chris Martin
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This is Willow, the official dog of the Guardian Thursday quiz. She knows Iran is pretty big, but she'd like to know how many other countries does Iran border?
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
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It is scores on the doors with Swindon’s Diana Dors. This week the statue wants to know if you are playing darts and narrowly miss the treble 20 and instead score immediately to the right, as you are facing the board, what treble did you hit?
Treble 1
Treble 3
Treble 6
Treble 9
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Swedish government minister Paulina Brandberg has been making headlines because of her extreme phobia of which fruit (pictured, but upside down for some reason) …
Bananas
Pears
Oranges
Lemons
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As soon as you heard that somebody in the US had been running an insurance scam involving people in a bear costume, you just knew it had to be in one of the following states. But which one?
Florida
Texas
California
Arizona
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Who has been caught stealing shoes left by kids at Gosho Kodomo-en kindergarten in Koga, Fukuoka prefecture, Japan?
A magpie
A weasel
A red panda
30-50 escaped macaques riding on feral hogs
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The Thursday quiz will need its tiniest violin for which rock star who says they are being forced to sell their luxury sports cars because there are too many potholes in the road these days?
Bill Wyman
Rod Stewart
Eric Clapton
Roger Daltrey
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Football manager Ian Holloway blamed Swindon Town's devastatingly poor results and injuries on what?
Players made dizzy by Swindon's Magic Roundabout
An Irish Traveller curse
A haunted training ground
One very naughty miniature dachshund
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Who is replacing Zoe Ball as the host of the BBC Radio 2 Breakfast Show?
Colin Murray
Scott Mills
Rick Edwards
Ronald Mael
Solutions
1:C - Viseu in northern Portugal was the host, and it was a home victory after a washed-rind raw sheep’s milk cheese – queijo de ovelha amanteigado – was named the best, 2:B - The 590kg (93-stone) cow had got herself into the pool, but couldn't get out. She was left with minor cuts after the rescue, 3:C - A judge has thrown a spanner in the works of the purchase after there was a complaint about the auction process, 4:A - The gigantic multicoloured organism, with a circumference of 183 metres, is visible from space and has grown for between 300 and 500 years, 5:D - The new Jamie Lloyd production will be at the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane, 6:C - Manifest as in 'if you wish really hard, you might manifest a decent score in the Thursday quiz', 7:A - Sheeran said 'my understanding of the narrative associated with this has changed' and cited British-Ghanaian vocalist Fuse ODG, who has criticised the song for 'damaging stereotypes' and 'dehumanising imagery', 8:C - Clockwise from the south-west it shares borders with Iraq, Turkey, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Afghanistan and Pakistan, 9:A - It is indeed a treble one which is the score immediately to the right of the 20 at the top of the board, 10:A - It is the banana that she has a phobia about, 11:C - This time it was California. The scammers were getting lo-res CCTV footage of someone in a bear suit attacking their cars, and claiming money off the back of the "damage", 12:B - CCTV has caught the culprit on camera, but somewhat hilariously authorities still have not discovered where it has been hiding the shoes, 13:B - Oh the humanity!, 14:C - He is going to get his wife to cleanse it with some sage. Right-ho, 15:B - Ball has been presenting the show for six years, and possibly just didn't fancy being in the firing line as the BBC's highest paid staff presenter in the wake of Gary Lineker's awkward departure
Scores
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0 and above.
We hope you had fun – let us know how you got on in the comments!
If you do think there has been an egregious error in one of the questions or answers – and can show your work and are absolutely 100% positive you are not attempting to fact check a joke – you can complain about it in the comments below. Why not watch Feast by Sprints instead?
