They'd be as well installing a revolving door at Tannadice’s front entrance given the swirling rate of managerial ins and outs.
Incredibly, Dundee United are preparing to announce their 25th boss since the late, great Jim McLean finally unplugged his hairdryer back in 1993.
Jack Ross is expected to be the latest man to slide down the never-ending conveyor belt of bosses after Tam Courts’ shock departure on Tuesday.
But before he poses for the camera with the tangerine scarf above his head, the former St Mirren, Sunderland and Hibs boss has been advised to pause and consider just why the speed of the managerial changes has hit warp drive in recent years.
Since Robbie Neilson opted to stay put in the Championship with Hearts instead of leading his promotion-winning United team back into the top-flight in 2020, the Terrors have managed to burn their way through a boss a year.
Micky Mellon decided he was better off back at Tranmere following a 12-month Tayside secondment and now Courts has called it quits too after a single season in charge.
As far as former Tannadice hero Steven Pressley is concerned, something doesn’t add up.
“I’m not privy to what goes on behind the scenes at Tannadice but the concern I have for Dundee United is that is three managers in quick succession who have all left at the first opportunity,” he told Record Sport.
“That for me is a worry.
“I know that Micky Mellon left under a bit of a cloud, Robbie Neilson walked after leading the club to promotion and now Tam has gone too after a successful first season.
“In my opinion, there must be something that’s not quite right at that football club just now.
“The reason it’s a concern is that one of the most important aspects when you’re building a club, like Dundee United are trying to do, is having continuity and stability.
“But United have not had that at all.
“And it’s not the fact these guys are being sacked or forced out. They’re all leaving of their own accord.
“So there must be something that’s not quite right at the football club behind the scenes.
“That has to be rectified because to build success, which they will want to do through promoting their youth system, continuity and stability of methods is vitally important.
“Tony Ashgar is a guy qualified in football directorship and will be aware that stability is key.
“But whatever is happening, I have big concerns that managers are trying to leave and leave very quickly.
“Maybe Tam’s performance in finishing fourth has papered over some of those cracks.”
Pressley can understand why Courts - who is closing in on a move to Hungarian club Budapest Honved - is keen to maximise his potential while his stock is high.
The former Kelty Hearts boss was the surprise choice when he landed his first job in the senior ranks, with disgruntled fans accusing the club of adopting a penny-pinching approach with his appointment.
But it turned out to be a profitable arrangement for all concerned with Courts leading the club to their heights Premiership finish in eight years and a return to Europe.
Pressley - who made 128 United appearances during his three year spell in the City of Discovery - said: “Tam’s had a very good maiden season.
“There were a lot of sceptics out there when he took over but he brought stability, a style of play and some good results and performances along the way.
“I thought it was important he built on that because football management is a game that can change and you can be forgotten very quickly.
“From his perspective I think it’s important he tries to get back in ASAP because there are so many managers out of work chasing so few jobs.
“He needs to find an opportunity sooner rather than later.
“But I like that he’s prepared to go abroad and learn new ways. Sometimes we all want to stay on home shores but I had an experience in Cyprus and I’d encourage all managers if they get the opportunity to move out of the comfort zone they have here in Scotland.
“There were times where we had 11 different nationalities on the pitch, all with their own cultures and ways, and we had to manage them accordingly.
“It was a great learning curve.
“If the right opportunity - and it has to be right - I’d encourage Tam to take it.”
United will hope to finally embark on a long-lasting relationship with their new boss - but the same can be said of the favourite for the post.
If Ross is confirmed, he will have chalked up five managerial appointments in six-and-a-half years since starting out at Alloa.
But Pressley said: “The problem with football is that sometimes you can do a lot of good work but if you lose your job people will point fingers and call you a failure.
“Clubs are always looking for managers to be loyal but the relationship has to be two ways and when you go through difficult periods they have to get show support back.
“Jack did a lot of good things at Hibernian but went through a difficult period and all of a sudden he was out because people had forgotten about what he’d done prior to the difficult spell.
“But you shouldn’t forget about those good moments Jack delivered. It’s the same from his spell at Sunderland.
“When you lose you’re job people look upon it as a failure but it wasn’t.
“When you’re rebuilding clubs after difficult periods the trajectory is seldom smooth.
“This is why you see a lot of managers jumping at the first opportunity because they want to leave with their record intact at the club, with the ability to say they were successful. To me that’s understandable.”
