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Stephen Colbert has weighed in on the obsession people seem to have with how old Tim Walz looks compared to Kamala Harris.
The Late Night Show with Stephen Colbert host opened Tuesday night’s episode by getting down to what he joked are the “big, important questions.”
Born in April 1964, Walz is just six months older than his running mate Harris, who was born in October that same year – a fact Colbert points out members of the public can’t seem to get their heads around.
“Uh, what’s up with that guy’s face?” he mocked in reference to the viewpoint that Walz, 60, looks much older than Harris, 59.
“Oh, oh, I think I know the reason! Women in America aren’t allowed to age,” Colbert joked, before pulling up Harris’s official portrait and saying it “takes a lot of creams to look that good at 59.”
Walz, meanwhile, probably “washes his face with Dawn dish soap,” Colbert quipped.
“Walz has heard your cruel jabs at his appearance America,” he added to the audience.
The comedian then brought up what Walz blamed for his apparently ageing features: teaching.
Before leaving to focus on his congressional career in 2006, Walz was a high school teacher.
“You do not leave that job with a full head of hair. Trust me,” the Minnesota governor wrote in an X post in July, saying that he spent 20 years supervising the school lunch room.
“No one leaves that job with a full head of hair because lunchroom bullies steal you hair and use it to tie up the asthma kids,” Colbert added.
In the show, Colbert also turned to Donald Trump and Elon Musk’s discussion on X Space’s on Monday night – where the former president repeated his list of usual grievances and false claims.
“Last night was a big night for weird old rich guys with no friends,” Colbert cracked, pointing out that Trump had only posted on X once since he was banned from the platform following the January 6 Capitol riot – and then reinstated by Musk.
The late-night show host roasted the duo for the fact that the event took 40 minutes to get underway due to technical difficulties.
He then joked that listeners who managed to get in were treated to another half an hour of lo-fi tech music coming from Trump’s account.
“We actually have a clip of that music,” Colbert said, playing music to riotous laughter from the audience.
“Thank you for tuning into the Musk-Trump livestream,” a voiceover, mirroring a call center helpline, is heard saying. “Your racism is very important to us, please continue to hold. Para español, report to your local detention camp.”
Calling the interview a “steaming c**p sandwich”, Colbert pointed to Musk’s initial claim that the technical issues were caused by a “massive distributed denial of service” cyber attack which “saturated” all its “data lines”.
“Now if that sounds made up to you... good ear,” he said.
And if the technical logistics of the discussion were a “cluster munch”, as Colbert put it, so too was the actual conversation.
Colbert pointed to the other talking points from the interview, from Trump appearing to have developed a lisp to his bizarre comments saying “beautiful” Harris looks like his wife Melania.
