Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert hosted The Late Show live after the latest public hearing by the House January 6 committee, which revealed in detail how Donald Trump “refused to act” to stop the attack on the Capitol.
As Adam Kinzinger, a Republican representative from Illinois, said during the final hearing until September: “The mob was accomplishing President Trump’s purpose, so of course he didn’t intervene.”
“Yes, when a mob is doing exactly what you want, you only encourage them – am I right, greatest audience in the world?!” Colbert said to cheers.
“He chose not to act,” Colbert added. “Same review he got for Home Alone 2.”
The committee retraced Trump’s steps for the whole of January 6, including the afternoon spent watching Fox News in the White House. “Nothing unusual there – just an elderly man, parked in front of Fox News all day, confused about where the president is,” Colbert quipped.
The committee also collected evidence on the grave threat to Mike Pence and his security during the attack. “Members of Pence’s security detail were calling their families to say goodbye,” Colbert summarized. “That’s how real the danger was. So anytime some Republican says this was just a normal tourist visit, remember that the guy at Disneyland dressed up as Goofy never has to call his wife to say, ‘I may not make it home tonight, huh-huh.’”
Kinzinger concluded with an emphatic statement: “whatever your politics, whatever you think about the outcome of the election, we as Americans must all agree on this: Donald Trump’s conduct on January 6 was a supreme violation of his oath of office and a complete dereliction of his duty to our nation. It is a stain on our history. It is a dishonor to all those who have sacrificed and died in service of our democracy.”
“Well said,” Colbert responded. “Yes, he is a stain on our history. And thanks to these hearings, we know that stain is ketchup.”
“So, all in all, it was a long night, almost three hours,” he concluded. “But it wasn’t nearly as long as the 187 minutes when the former president did nothing to stop an ongoing insurrection that he created and then watched it all in glee as it played out on TV.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers previewed Thursday’s primetime hearing with a teaser from the committee, in which it confirmed Trump spent the afternoon of January 6 sitting in a White House dining room watching television. “You’ve got to give it to Donald Trump – he was somehow both the most dangerous and also the laziest president in American history,” said Meyers. “Donald Trump, in the dining room, with the television, is the answer to every mystery in a game of Trump Clue.”
Meyers replayed depositions from several White House staffers, including press secretary Kayleigh McEnany, confirming that Trump spent all afternoon watching TV. “Those depositions were consistent with what we already knew: Trump was gleefully watching the violence unfold on TV and enjoying it,” Meyers said. “He was cheering them on like he was watching Sunday Night Football. I’m shocked we don’t have a photo of him in the Oval Office wearing a hat, a foam finger and jersey that says Team Insurrection.”
Regardless of what aired on Thursday, “so much crazy shit has happened that it’s easy to forget the details of any specific Trump scandal,” Meyers added. “I really hope that particular sequence of events is seared into history for ever. Normally, our history textbooks all have boring names, like Modern America: 1950 to the present, but when they get around to writing a book about this, they should just call it The Dude Tried to Get His Own Vice President KILLED, I MEAN WTF!!!”
Trevor Noah
Biden has Covid! Luckily, he's vaxxed, double boosted, taking antivirals, and just to be safe, sipping some bleach. pic.twitter.com/YFhAgLyG0i
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) July 22, 2022
And on the Daily Show, Trevor Noah sent get well wishes to Joe Biden, who announced in a video Thursday that he had tested positive for Covid and was feeling OK. “Get well soon, sir,” said Noah. “You’ve made it through the Spanish flu, you can make it through this.”
“And also, it does look like he’s going to be fine,” he continued. “He’s even got swag in that video. He’s like, ‘Hey, ha, you’ve probably heard I got Covid, ha.’”
“But I know why he’s got swag – he got vaxxed, he’s been boosted, he’s been double boosted and he’s taking anti-viral drugs,” he said. “And just to be safe, he’s sipping some bleach on the side.”
“Another reason the president is going to be fine is because, let’s be honest, there’s not much that Covid can do to him,” Noah joked. “Let’s be honest, the virus is going to get in his body and be like, ‘let’s see what I can do here. Time to get some brain fog, some fatigue, some dizziness – wait, wait, have I already been here? What’s going on?’”
