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Donald Trump will soon reveal who he’s chosen as his running mate for the 2024 presidential campaign after months of speculation – and The Late Show host Stephen Colbert thinks he’s worked out who it won’t be.
The former president has reportedly narrowed his shortlist down to three candidates – Florida Senator Marco Rubio, Ohio Senator JD Vance and North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum – with the likes of Tim Scott, Vivek Ramaswamy, Kristi Noem and Elise Stefanik seemingly no longer in the running.
Vance, the author of the best-selling memoir Hillbilly Elegy and a Trump convert, would appear to be the former president’s starriest option but, according to Colbert, doesn’t stand a chance.
Why? Because of his facial hair.
The comedian outlined his theory on Tuesday night, playing a clip of pundit Marc Caputo telling Erin Burnett on CNN: “There’s some buzz in Trump’s orbit like, ‘Look, if JD Vance doesn’t get it, it’s because of the beard.’”
Colbert responded: “Wow! Trump doesn’t like beards? I mean why on Earth would he hate...”
The host then cut to a side-by-side image of the candidate’s two eldest sons, Donald Trump Jr and Eric Trump, both of whom sport beards.
“OK, yeah. Makes sense,” he quipped.
The comic also pointed out that if Trump were ultimately to choose Vance as his prospective vice president, he would become the first bearded man to hold that office since Republican vice president Schuyler Colfax more than 150 years ago.
Trump is well known to disapprove of facial hair, disliking his former national security adviser John Bolton’s moustache (“The moustache is a major problem,” Steve Bannon once said, “Trump doesn’t think he looked the part”). He also reportedly ordered Don Jr to shave his Covid quarantine beard, comparing it unfavorably to that of Ted Cruz and Rand Paul, two Republicans also not in contention to be his running mate.
Of his struggle to find the right person to join him on the Republican party’s ticket, Trump regularly moans behind the scenes, “Where is my Cary Grant?”, according to The Washington Post.
The legend of the Hollywood Golden Age was clean-shaven and rarely seen wearing anything other than an immaculately cut suit.
On Tuesday, Rubio – one of Trump’s VP contenders – joined him at the former president’s rally at his Doral National Golf Club in Miami, Florida, and introduced him on stage.
Trump proceeded to openly tease Rubio about his audition for the role, by observing of the large swathe of media present: “I think they probably think I’m going to be announcing that Marco’s going to be vice president.”
He later addressed the senator directly on the subject of his “no tax on tips” policy: “Marco you’re going to vote for it, I hope. Well, you may or may not be there to vote for it. But you’ll be involved.”
