'Splitting the G' is sickening, let's leave it in 2024 — this week's barometer

Up!

A London Christmas

Bond Street lit up! Cartier steals the show (AFP via Getty Images)

Woefully underrated. The one time of year the city empties out. A stroll down New Bond Street? Christmas dinner in a lovely hotel? Beats a “hot Christmas” every time.

Dinosaurs

(Christie's)

The It gift for the one per cent. Christie’s just sold a trio of 150 million-year-old skeletons. Dale Rogers has all kinds of prehistoric fossils for sale on Pimlico Road. Difficult to wrap, granted.

Priest stoles

(Valentino)

The latest Valentino co-ed collection featured vicar-style stoles. Best paired with cranberry-red velvet suits. Justin Welby might have a few spare to borrow.

Classic films

Lindsay Lohan in Our Little Secret (NETFLIX)

Stick to the traditional ones. These Lindsay Lohan AI-style festive flicks clogging up Netflix are bonkers.

Going down…

Blatantly out-of-season veg

(Press handout)

Tomatoes, courgettes, asparagus, strawberries — heinous to have on the table for Christmas Day. Do point them out if you find them.

Splitting the G

(PA Archive)

Let’s leave the obsession with black stuff in 2024. Now The Devonshire patrons have caused a shortage of Guinness, it seems as good a time as any to wave goodbye. Downing them at the beginning is not cool!

Loud working

Blasting shouty emails with pas-agg bullet points so it looks like you have been busy does not a productive person make. Relax, enjoy, etc.

Hourly Christmas Day updates

(Getty Images)

Don’t boast about your present haul on Instagram. We don’t care if you’ve dressed the dogs up. No one else should have to see grandpa legless and dancing to Santa Baby on a wicker chair.