30 Childless Couples Share How Their Life Without Children Turned Out
Deciding whether or not to have children is one of life’s biggest decisions. And rightly so, because such a seemingly small addition to the family changes a lot. Suddenly, your identity switches to that of a parent, your responsibilities multiply, and you find out the hard way that babies don’t have kneecaps.
Not wanting such a life for themselves, some people decide not to have children at all. And that’s fine, too. Others are just curious about what their day-to-day looks like without little ones running around all the time.
One of them was redditor NetworkOver7742, who was so intrigued that they even started an online discussion about it. And childless couples had a lot to say, with almost 4K of them sharing their experiences. Below, you’ll find the most popular ones that will give you an insightful look into what it’s really like to not have children.
There are many reasons why people voluntarily choose not to have babies of their own. An article by The Upshot revealed that the main ones were the need for more free time, finding a partner, and not being able to afford childcare. Some couples don’t have the desire to have kids at all and would rather focus on their careers and spend time traveling.
There’s also a feeling of discomfort about bringing kids into a potentially crumbling environment. Children (i.e. more people) require resources and create pollution and waste. People who are aware of this are choosing not to add to the environmental impact.
Also, those who’ve experienced trauma, mental illnesses, or have genetic diseases would rather avoid the risk of passing any of this pain to their offspring. Individuals who lived through, for example, neglect, abuse, and abandonment don’t feel equipped to raise a child and don’t want their kids to suffer the consequences.
Researcher Bronwyn Harman has found that the majority of child-free people are happy they never had kids because of the freedom it gives them. It’s evident in the people’s responses, as well, that they were satisfied and didn’t regret their decision. A couple who have been together for 32 years and counting say they wouldn’t change a thing. However, one issue that they face is finding more people to meet up with, as everyone around them seems busy and tired of raising children.
Zero regrets. Travel, fun, work, friends, fun hobbies, lots of money I didn't have to spend on kids. And to those who say who's going to take care of you when you're old: I find it disgusting that you had kids expecting them to waste their lives taking care of you.As I sit here in silence drinking my coffee w/ baileys & enjoying my wake & bake as I look off into the quiet snowy morning I must admit— Wait. Is that a goose? I’m off to follow it & see where the day takes me…Thank goodness we don't have any. Life is hard as hell. We'd probably be homeless now if we had the extra financial burden of children.
Some of us don't end up rolling on piles of money. Some of us are just celebrating that we're not financially underwater as we would have been if kids were in the picture.55 here. Not for a microsecond do I regret not having children.
I am happily married with a healthy, frequent sex life. (Married 25+ years, first-and-only husband.)
We're comfortable with dual incomes. We live in a house we love in a place we love. We have time and funds for hobbies. We have great family and friends. And dogs. And cats. And horses.
Nah, I don't regret it AT ALL.23 year old chiming in to say it's very relieving and validating to read all your responses. I don't want children and never have, but I'm at that age where everyone swears I'm gonna change my mind and it's frustrating. You're all living proof I can, and will, be happy without children.My wife and I decided not to have children.
We go out for dinner a lot.
If we had kids I think we'd be divorced. We have overcome a lot and it took 100% of ourselves at times to accomplish. If we had also been parents at the time I don't think we would have made it. No regrets here, we are enjoying the flexibility and free time. The only issue we have is finding more people to hang out with as everyone seems to be too tired/busy because they have children.My partner and I have the freedom and the life we wanted. We can travel whenever we want, save money, sleep in, have late nights out. Parenting was never something either of us wanted and looking at the state of things all over the world, we're extremely happy with our decision.Amazing, 54 this year, she is 52, we have been together 32 years. I would not change a thing.Not over 40 yet, but getting there. So far, life is brilliant. We know several parents, and at least a few of them look like they have very happy lives with children. So I don't think a life with children would have necessarily turned out miserable. But that would have been a different kind of happiness, and we are content with our own version.
The most important difference is that we are not obsessed with making more money or living at a particular standard to make our children happy. A few of our upper middle class friends send their children to private schools where annual vacations abroad are the norm for their peers. The pressure of keeping up with the Joneses to make their children happy is enormous. We know that there is nobody after us. We only need to save for a comfortable retirement. We are not trying to build trust funds for anyone. The knowledge that we are accountable for our lives alone is very liberating and we are very happy we made that choice.63 year old gal here. Not for a second. I have enjoyed my life and plan to enjoy the rest of it. Just didn't have the baby urge. Likely going to be a different response from folks who are without child but wanted a child.My dad used to say I wouldn’t take $1 billion for one of my children but I wouldn’t pay $.50 to have another oneIt’s AMAZING, thanks for asking!Being child free is one of the best decisions I ever made! My life is untethered and I’m free to do whatever I want without guilt or sacrificing something.
There are a lot of people who had kids and now resent them. They won’t admit it but a lot of people wish they didn’t have kids or they regret who their co-parent is.I'm 42, single. I have more money for my dogs which is nice.
My mom hounded me about having kids while I was still a kid. I've always been child free but my mom would negate my opinions saying I'd change my mind or "who will take care of you when you're old?" It finally got to a point where she told me I was selfish for not giving her grandchildren. It just added into my decision to go no contact with her.
So I guess that whole "who will take care of you when you get old" idea is moot.We regret it profoundly. In retrospect we could have done it easily and well. And both of us come from varied backgrounds and know plenty of couples who have had good and bad experiences, but the bad experiences are very few while the good are considerably good. So, yeah, life mistake and too late for both of us to do anything about it.No it's been great having lots of disposable income instead of disposable diapers. Bringing another human into this f****d up world would not have been a good choice for us either. Parenting is not for everyoneYeah, I regret it a lot. But it wasn't my choice so, I just have to figure out how to live with that.Pretty good! I’ve always known I wasn’t a mothering type and I met my partner in highschool and he had the same feelings. We’ve never changed our minds and we are going on 22 years together. We live a full life, eat out heaps, go to concerts, the theatre, holidays, we have so much freedom it’s insane. We nurture our hobbies, and sleep in a lot. All of our friends have kids and complain constantly about how hard it is, how exhausted they are and how much money it’s costing them. No regrets on our side.It is the absolute best. Last night, on a weeknight, we went out for Mexican and had a couple of cocktails. Walked home, very slightly toasted and had an amazing night. We were able to do that and so many other things because we have cats, not kids.
I am the eldest of five children, with terrible parents. Plus, most of my siblings chose to have children. I know exactly what I'm missing and I am honestly happy about it every single day. I have the utmost respect for parents because I know how hard it is - you basically go without sleep for years, you sacrifice all your money and free time, and your body (as a woman) often suffers major changes that you may not have been prepared for, some of which are permanently harmful.My salary isn't bad, but I may as well be rich, considering I have no kids, no debt, no expensive weddings. Unlimited free time to do whatever I want, whenever. I struggle to imagine why anyone would want children so badly.We are in our 50s now. Not a single regret.Life is great. Zero regrets here.Maybe 10% regret, 90% not. These big life decisions generally aren't all-or-nothing.
I have a lot of anxiety, and kids pick up 9n that. I wouldn't want to burden a child with coping with my anxiety, on top of just learning how to be a human, which is hard enough already.Absolutely no regrets. My life is my own.I've always known that I've never wanted kids, and I'm so happy with that decision. I've never been the maternal type, and the amount of time, work, and money they require just seems like torture. I love being able to travel the world at a moment's notice, and I love having time for my interests, hobbies, sleep, etc. When I talk to my friends that have kids they all seem so tired and depressed and they struggle with their loss of self.I just turned 40, but my wife is under 40 so we get partial credit I guess. For my 40th she redid one of the rooms in the new place we just moved to into my own private nerdy game room getaway. She went all out! It’s absolutely insane, and she is still waiting for a few more things to be available/delivered! So for us, at least, it’s going pretty f*****g great right now!Life has filled us! Although we don't have children, we value freedom and pay attention to our relationships. No regrets, just different priorities and a lot of joy.You won't get many replies as they're too busy rolling around in their piles of money, with the time to enjoy such an activity.It hurts like hell that I can’t have children. But I’m beginning to accept it’s for the best. Both of us have depression. I have anxiety, ADHD. I fight every day to do basics for myself. My partner does too. We should not bring a child into this world like this. So we work together to help each other and just be the best Aunt and Uncle we can. I grieve for my unborn children but I know it’s for the best.
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