THE Netflix drama Adolescence has swept the country, becoming the most-watched UK title ever on the streaming service, amassing more than 66 million viewers within its first two weeks. The series has now even been made available for secondary schools to stream to students, in a move supported by Prime Minister Keir Starmer.
But for one MSP the series created by Stephen Graham and Jack Thorne – which follows a 13-year-old boy after he is arrested for murdering his schoolmate – has all been a bit close to home.
“When you’re a young man, you do things without thinking of the repercussions and then the repercussions just expand and everyone is caught up in it. So, I didn’t want to watch any of that and I didn’t want to see two actors playing a very emotional role that I could see being my mum and dad,” SNP MSP James Dornan said after seeing clips of the psychological crime drama.
Dornan has told The National he has found it too traumatic to watch the series because as a 15-year-old boy, he was charged with attempted murder.
It was a charge that was eventually downgraded to common assault, and he got off with a £15 fine and two years’ probation.
But 57 years on from the incident in Glasgow in the summer of 1968, he still says the whole episode sticks with him “like a curse”.
Dornan, now 72, was walking along a road in the southside of Glasgow with a group of mates when one of them decided to run across the road to challenge two young guys. To this day, Dornan doesn’t know why he did so.
What followed is something that still haunts him to the point where he says he struggles to feel proud of anything he has achieved, despite having been an MSP serving the Glasgow Cathcart community for nearly 15 years.
When he saw the altercation brewing over, Dornan ran over the road himself and ended up punching one of the guys, who then ran off.
Unbeknownst to Dornan and his mate, one of the other members of the group Dornan was with then went over to the boy Dornan had punched and hit him with an object, leaving the boy seriously injured.
A few days later, the police turned up to Dornan’s work, took him to the old Craigie Street police station and arrested – and eventually charged – him for attempted murder.
The fear Dornan felt over what was going to happen to him was huge, but the shame over the impact it had on his parents is the part that still cruelly lingers in his mind.
“The first bad bit was when my dad came down [to the police station] because my dad was straight as a die and this sort of thing was just awful,” Dornan told The National.
“I am now 57 years away from that incident and I still feel responsible for lots of things that have happened because of it, how people felt because of that incident.
“I don’t think about it all the time but one of the problems I’ve got is I carry guilt about with me. It sticks with you like a curse. It never leaves you.”
While the eventual conviction was common assault with no custodial sentence, Dornan has been left with a cloud of guilt hanging over him and this is why, despite being supportive of the Adolescence series, he has not been able to find the courage to watch it.
While Dornan doesn’t think about the incident all the time, just seeing clips of police being in the house of lead character Jamie Miller and his parents questioning how their son could have committed such an offence was enough to bring his deep regret over what happened decades ago to the surface.
“I find this quite traumatic and very difficult emotionally to look at something that triggers things that have happened in my past, having just seen the clips,” he said.
“I didn’t want to see two actors playing a very emotional role that I could see being my mum and dad.
“Stephen Graham is a magnificent actor. He acts with his heart, and I think that’s why I would’ve found it very difficult [to watch]. He reminds me of my dad.”
What is particularly heart-breaking is hearing how Dornan has struggled to shake off his shame even years later, admitting that he finds it hard to feel pride in himself even though people, including his mum, have tried to convince him of his achievements as a politician and community representative.
“I never feel particularly proud of anything I’ve achieved. I have this thing that if I can achieve it then it must be really easily achievable,” he said.
“When I think about it rationally, I have achieved something, and I’ve put myself in a position where I can help others. I think I’ve managed to give something back, but I don’t think it really compensates for things that I’ve done.
“Pride is not really something I have in myself but a sense I have done alright is where I am.”
Although Dornan doesn’t think he will ever find it in him to watch Adolescence, the issues the series highlights on the dangers of social media and the enormous pressure young people today are under are crucial themes Dornan feels parents should be aware of.
“I’ve got two grandchildren that are in their 20s and the world is a much scarier place now for young people than it was when I was young,” Dornan said.
“We never had much to do. They’ve got too much to do, but they’re under constant surveillance all the time. They’re under constant bombardment from different types of influences that we never had.
“It astounds me that we’ve now created a society where big sections think the denigration of women is acceptable behaviour. That’s what I like about Adolescence, I hope it will engender the debate.”
Dornan said the other crucial message for kids within Adolescence, and one he is all too aware of, is how your actions can have a devastating ripple effect on others around you, something he admits he never thought much about when he was a young boy trying to prove himself any way he could on the streets of 1960s Glasgow.
He also wants his story to show others who have shame in their past that there can be a way out, and if you have a chance to make something of yourself in the aftermath, grab it with both hands.
“When you get into trouble, there’s a way out. You’re not trapped in that moment,” he said.
“If I had gone to prison for this, I would’ve come out a completely different person, and not a better person.
“If you get the opportunity, take it and try and move forward and try and make sure you can improve your life and try give something back, even if it’s just to yourself, because very often you’re the person suffering as much as anyone else.”
