A funeral is a time for friends and family to come together to mourn the loss of a loved one and say one final goodbye. But, arranging the funeral can often be a challenging and distressing time – made extra difficult by the number of myths and misconceptions around the process.
Luckily, experts at SunLife have debunked six of the most common ‘facts’ people associate with funeral practices and traditions.
You need to have a funeral service
When someone dies, thoughts often turn quickly to the organisation of the funeral service, without ever questioning whether to have one in the first place. However, direct cremations and burials (funerals without a service) are becoming more popular by the minute. They offer an affordable, no-fuss way for you to say goodbye to your loved one, leaving you free to arrange a memorial event with family and friends on your own terms at a later date.
Mark Screeton, CEO at SunLife, says; “Our latest research shows that funeral organisers and funeral directors don’t see direct cremation as a ‘pauper’s funeral’ anymore. Now, they’re seen as a low-cost option that allows families to celebrate their loved one’s life in a way that suits them and their budget.”
Due to the pandemic, people’s opinions on direct cremations have changed dramatically. According to SunLife’s Cost of Dying report, 18% of funerals are now direct cremations, compared to just 3% in 2019. With an increasing number of people moving away from conventional funeral services, we could be seeing even more alternatives in the future.
You need to have a funeral director
Did you know there’s actually no legal requirement to have a funeral director? You may wish to hire a funeral director to take care of the whole process while you focus on grieving. But some people choose to take on the funeral director role themselves, to save money and have complete control over proceedings.
It’s worth remembering that funeral directors can help support decision-making at difficult times, especially if those closest to the deceased are not in the right headspace to make them. On the flip side, some prefer to take care of the arrangements themselves. They may feel a great responsibility to give their loved one a proper send-off and want to be personally involved, or they be looking for more affordable options.
Funerals are sad occasions
Whilst the death of someone close to you is always going to be a tremendously difficult time, a funeral can be a way to commemorate, rather than commiserate. Whether it’s playing your loved one’s favourite song, showing happy pictures of them or taking a trip down memory lane, a funeral can be a joyful celebration of their life and provide solace.
Try writing down all the great moments you and your loved one had together and all the funny things they used to do, to create a eulogy that will make attendees smile! Another way to bring a positive feel to the service is to invite guests to wear bright clothing rather than the traditional black. If the deceased had a particular passion, you could even encourage people to dress to a theme, such as football shirts or theatrical costumes.
A funeral will be expensive
As SunLife’s Cost of Dying report reveals, the cost of a funeral has almost doubled since 2004, with the average spent now at £3,953. But, despite these rising costs, there are ways to save if you’re on a budget.
One of the best ways to save on a loved one’s funeral is to discuss their wishes before they die. SunLife’s report found that less than 1% of funeral organisers knew all their loved one’s preferences, which can lead to both extra stress and spending on things they might not want. For example, only around half of funeral organisers knew whether the deceased wanted a burial or a cremation – and with the average cremation over £1,000 cheaper than the average burial, knowing this could lead to a big saving.
Other ways to save that funeral directors and organisers have shared with SunLife include:
Shop around and compare quotes from funeral directors
Cut back on funeral flowers
Choose a cheaper time of day for a cremation – morning slots can cost significantly less
Viewing is necessary for closure after death
It’s completely your decision whether or not to view the body, and it’s something that can be helpful or unhelpful to the grieving process of different people. Some may want to see the body one last time, whereas others may find it too difficult and it may extend the healing process.
Research has suggested that if the death had been sudden or an accident, many bereaved people wish to say goodbye by viewing the body. In other cases, some feel as though they haven’t prepared for what they were going to see and it may cause more distress.
The deceased needs to be embalmed
The process of preserving a body by delaying the natural breakdown of cells is often carried out as standard by many funeral directors. However, there is no legal requirement to do so. Some of the reasons for embalming are wanting your loved one to look as close to their appearance as possible, religious traditions, or for viewing in an open casket. However, embalming is an additional expense which may put some people off – and it’s not essential.
