Living within your means is definitely a good thing because it shows that you know how to plan ahead for the future while also spending money on things that matter. That’s why people also consider frugality a virtue, until, of course, folks begin taking it to the extreme.
This is how a woman felt about her sister-in-law, who has plenty of money yet still seems to be on the lookout for free items, leftovers, and ways to avoid spending a dime. The poster couldn’t take her in-law’s penny-pinching behavior any longer.
More info: Mumsnet
Family gatherings, especially during Christmas, should be fun for all because of the gift-giving, but stingy relatives can sometimes dampen the atmosphere
The poster explained that her brother-in-law’s wife is generally a nice person except for her cheapskate habit of scrounging for leftovers or other people’s possessions
The previous Christmas, the sister-in-law kept trying to claim people’s presents and food that folks hadn’t even had a chance to eat yet, which made everyone feel uncomfortable
This year, the poster didn’t want a repeat of the previous Christmas fiasco and was planning to confront her brother-in-law’s wife over the issue
Image credits: Addyview
The brother-in-law felt that the issue should be left alone, but the poster knew that if nothing was done about it, their events would keep getting ruined
The woman explained that she has a good relationship with her brother-in-law, but it’s his wife that she struggles to get along with. The woman has a strange habit of scrounging for things in the hopes that she can have them for herself. This ranges from food items in the OP’s house to even personal possessions.
This kind of behavior might make a person seem like a cheapskate, and it may even extend to other areas of their life. Just like the sister-in-law in this story, extreme penny-pinchers don’t like to spend any money and also try to get as much free stuff as they can. Even if they are confronted about their bad habits, they might not see anything wrong with it.
Most people might assume that miserly actions like this are due to a person’s financial situation, but that isn’t always the case. As the OP mentioned, her brother-in-law and his wife earn enough, so they don’t have to worry about money. Sometimes, there can be a deeper cause for stinginess, like anxiety about finances or a fear of running out of necessities.
It’s hard to know exactly what prompted the sister-in-law to behave the way she does, but her actions have certainly made other people feel uncomfortable. During one Christmas party, she kept asking if she could take people’s presents for herself and even tried taking away extra food by telling guests not to eat it.
The poster felt like she couldn’t possibly handle her sister-in-law’s stingy behavior any longer. She wanted to enjoy her get-togethers without having to worry about the other woman’s penny-pinching. That’s why the OP and her husband decided to confront the in-law as soon as possible.
It’s important to approach such situations with a lot of empathy and care. It is completely okay for a person to be stingy as long as their behavior is only affecting their life. Once it impacts others, the folks around should clearly address the behavior and share examples of when it happened. Use ‘I’ statements to share how the situation has made you feel.
Another way to make things easier and avoid resentment when dealing with penny-pinchers is to set expectations from the start. Be clear with them about when they have to pay their share of the bill or what you feel comfortable covering and what they need to cover themselves.
Unfortunately, in this situation, the OP and her husband wanted to confront the stingy woman, but the brother-in-law felt that it would create even more problems. In the end, the poster felt that she just shouldn’t invite her in-laws to any future events. Maybe doing that would save everyone from a lot of awkwardness, without having to burst her sister-in-law’s bubble.
What do you think the poster should do about her in-law’s miserly behavior? Share your thoughts down below.
Folks advised the woman to set boundaries with her brother-in-law’s wife and to say no to her scrounging behavior
