A false start gets you a 5-yard penalty in football. In chess, it’s a broken finger.
A 7-year-old competing against a chess-playing robot in a tournament in Moscow paid the price for making a move and not allowing enough time for the robot to respond. Or maybe the machine mistook his finger for a pawn.
As Moscow Chess Federation president Sergei Lazarev told TASS: “The child played the very next day (and) finished the tournament in a cast.”
Headlines
— Comedy writer Torben Rolfsen, via Twitter, on the Blue Jays’ 28-5 romp at Fenway: “Boston T-ball Party.”
— At TheBeaverton.com: “Pope Francis closes Commonwealth Stadium mass with 52-yard Hail Mary.”
Old news
The Mariners have released pitcher Daniel Ponce de Leon.
So much for the team’s hopes of getting younger.
Thems the rules
The Arizona Cardinals have removed the controversial “independent study” clause from QB Kyler Murray’s $230.5M contract.
But added one for cleaning up his room and being in bed by 10.
Maculate reception
Reporters encountered some Wi-Fi issues at the Novo Theafter in L.A. on Pac-12 media day.
Just out of habit, Pac-12 commissioner George Kliavkoff blamed the Big Ten for taking it.
Get off my infield
Mets pitcher Max Scherzer says PitchCom — the newfangled electronic system to deter sign-stealers — should be illegal.
Next up: Scherzer’s wistful take on traveling by train.
He needs a belt
Who says you can’t buy a championship?
Colts owner Jim Irsay bid $6 million to win an auction for Muhammad Ali’s WBC title belt from the 1974 “Rumble in the Jungle” against George Foreman in Zaire.
More headlines
— At Fark.com: “Mike Trout diagnosed with rare spinal condition that’s been aggravated by carrying the Angels for the last 10 years.”
— At TheOnion.com: “Study finds joggers burn up to 200 calories from repeatedly pulling down bunched-up shorts.”
Spell check
Breaking news from Panthers camp: WR Robby Anderson wants to go by Robbie now.
Three days in, and we’re already down to stuff like this?
That’s the formula
According to Zion Williamson’s contract extension, his weight and body-fat percentage must add up to less than 295.
So now he needs a scale AND a degree in algebra.
Next!
Over the last three seasons, the Commanders have started nine different quarterbacks.
The team’s QB room? It’s the one with the revolving door on it.
Talking the talk
— Phil Mushnick of the N.Y. Post, on tennis’ insufferable players: “Rooting interests are now based on the lesser of two weasels. If Nick Kyrgios were hitting a ball against a wall, I’d root for the wall.”
— Bears safety Eddie Jackson, to the Chicago Sun-Times, on when he realized he needed to be a leader of younger players: “When they got rid of everybody.”
Quote marks
— Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on unvaccinated players: “As they say in baseball, we’ll shoot any random stuff into our bodies, as long as it’s not something that will help stop a worldwide killer pandemic.”
— Arizona football coach Jedd Fisch, at Pac-12 media day: “We’re looking for fans and boosters in the transfer portal, too!”
— Super 70s Sports, via Twitter, on the 25th anniversary of Greg Maddux’s 76-pitch complete game: “I believe this is also known as ‘4 innings’ to most current starting pitchers.”
— Ex-Giants manager Bruce Bochy, to KNBR Radio, on pitching to the late Tony Gwynn: “Throw it down the middle and get it over with.”
Hear, hear
The Bengals placed RB Elijah Holyfield, son of former heavyweight champ Evander, on injured reserve, ending his season.
But no, it’s a leg injury, not his ear.
Quote, end quote
— Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on Cowboys owner Jerry Jones long-winded media scrum to open training camp: “His way of reminding the world again that he’s the star of the franchise. The most dangerous place anyone can stand is between Jones and a camera.”
— Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald, to reporters, on the state of college football: “The game on the field has never been better. Once you walk off the field, it’s never been more chaotic.”
— Chris Karpman of 247Sports.com, via Twitter, after Arizona football coach Jeff Fisch claimed parents of his players could drive from the L.A. area to Tucson in 5 1/2 hours: “Arizona’s NIL collective is going to have to cover a lot of extreme speeding tickets.”
So, it was you
Question of the day at Pac-12 media day, addressed to Stanford QB Tanner McKee and CB Kyu Blu Kelly: “You guys upset USC last year, and now they’re leaving and taking UCLA. Do you feel responsible for breaking up the Pac-12?”
