This soccer player flopped — for good reason.
Leandro Fernandez, a forward for Independiente in Argentina’s Primera Division, was struck in the face by a fish thrown by a fan of rival Racing Club. Dazed, Fernandez was stretchered off but eventually resumed playing.
Headlines
— At TheOnion.com: “Rob Manfred extends olive branch to minor-leaguers by letting them run bases at MLB stadium after game.”
— At Fark.com: “Jim Thorpe awarded Olympic gold medal. This is a repeat from 1912.”
Your move, Magnus
Magnus Carlsen, Norway’s five-time world chess champion, announced he will not defend his title but denied he is retiring.
What, are the Saudis going to bankroll a LIV Chess Tour too?
Say Hay Kid
Who says we’re running out of sports to cover?
Iowa redshirt O-lineman Gennings Dunker won the marquee event at the 20th annual Hay Bale Toss at Solon (Iowa) Beef Days in Solon, Iowa, with a toss of 12 feet, 6 inches.
Just say neigh
And, in other Iowa news, a racehorse there has tested positive for meth.
Track & field quiz
Noah Lyles won the 200 meters in 19.31 seconds at the world championships in Eugene, Ore., breaking the U.S. record held by:
a) Michael Johnson
b) Forrest Gump
c) Josh Hawley
A fine mess
The NBA fined Warriors owner Joe Lacob $500,000 for calling the league’s luxury-tax system as “very unfair.”
If Lacob has any opinion on the league’s policy on fines, he’s wisely keeping it to himself.
Misery has company
Here’s something Mariners fans can relate to, from @LegionHoops: “Insane: No active NBA player has ever faced the Sacramento Kings in the playoffs.”
Regrets? He has a few
Andrew Wiggins, a first-time All-Star and NBA champion this season with the Warriors, says he nonetheless regrets getting the COVID vaccinations that allowed him to do so.
Who else but an NBA player could turn Moderna, Pfizer and Johnson & Johnson into bad shot selection?
Your ad here
MLB is moving ahead with plans for advertising on uniforms and helmets next season.
You know you’re a hardcore fan in 2023 if you can pick Mike Trout out of lineup of NASCAR drivers.
Score one for Vandy
Who says optimism is dead?
Vanderbilt finished last but received a first-place vote in the SEC media preseason football poll.
Easy terms
Bobby Bonilla is auctioning off the contract he signed with the Mets, the one that converted his 2000 salary of $5.9 million into $1.19 million in annual payments from 2021 to 2035.
No word on whether you can pay for it in 25 yearly installments.
Arrested development
Texas A&M senior wide receiver Ainias Smith missed his scheduled appearance at SEC media days because he was arrested the day before on charges of DUI, marijuana possession and carrying an unlawful weapon.
On the bright side, he reportedly landed an NIL deal with Chico’s Bail Bonds.
Talking the talk
— Jon Wilner of the San Jose Mercury News, via Twitter, what Pac-12 fans should worry about the most: “The faction of presidents who don’t know if a football is inflated or stuffed will carry the day in the boardroom.”
— Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on the proposal to put a dome on Chicago’s Soldier Field: “Like adding wallpaper to the inside of a porta-potty and thinking it made for a nicer environment.”
Easy money
What is the surest bet in sports these days, Joey Chestnut winning a hot-dog eating contest, Alabama winning the SEC preseason football poll or Aaron Donald getting a 99 in the Madden video game?
Quote marks
— Cardinals GM Steve Keim, via Twitter, on whether the door is closed on Kyler Murray’s baseball career: “Did you guys see the payroll of the Oakland A’s ($41.5M) vs. Kyler’s contract ($46.1M)? Enough said.”
— Steph Curry, hosting the ESPYs, on Tom Brady unretiring from the NFL at age 44: “He’s the only guy I know who’d rather get hit by Aaron Donald than hang out with a supermodel.”
— Nick Canepa of The San Diego Union-Tribune, on the Patriots trading former No. pick N’Keal Harry to Chicago for a seventh-rounder: “If Bill Belichick were nothing but a GM, he’d be fishing for Maine lobsters.”
Ungrateful serfs
“I reject the premise that (minor-leaguers) are not paid even a living wage,” said baseball commissioner Rob Manfred, who makes $17.5 million a year while top Triple-A players make $14,000.
In other words, let them eat … a batting donut.
Quote, end quote
— Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, on baseball agent Casey Close suing national sports-radio host Doug Gottlieb: “Hey, if we start suing hosts for being inaccurate, then the entire talk-radio industry will crumble like sand castle at high tide.”
— David Whitley of the Gainesville (Fla.) Sun, on 769 nudists plunging into the Atlantic Ocean last week: “That broke the previous record of 391 naked people in Rob Gronkowski’s hot tub after the Bucs won the 2021 Super Bowl.”
— Former Oakland shortstop Mike Gallego (1985-91), when told that the A’s had an All-Star at every position except his: “I was an All-Star in Little League.”
