Are you ready for some … pickleball?
America’s fast-growing pastime is growing up — as in Major League Pickleball — with the MLP finals slated for Oct. 14-16 in Columbus, Ohio, competing for a $319,000 prize pool. The 12-team league plans to expand to 16 next year, with the likes of LeBron James and Drew Brees buying in.
Now it’s just a TV contract and a steroids scandal away from official major league status.
Headlines
— At TheOnion.com: “Luka Doncic spends offseason adding new complaints to repertoire.”
— At Fark.com: “Frankie Lasagna catching Judge’s 61st home run? Fuhgeddaboutit.”
Uncivil serpent
A high-school football game in Florida was delayed a few minutes when a 3-foot Eastern Diamondback slithered onto the field.
Rattled? Winter Springs lost to St. Cloud, 38-16.
Above minimum wage
Floyd Mayweather made a reported $20 million for stopping Mikuru Asakura at the end of the second round in an exhibition fight in Japan.
Good pay if you can get it: That pencils out to $200 million an hour.
Sports Lingo 101
“Clean and jerk” is:
a) a composite of two weightlifting movements
b) how baseball hard-liners view the AL and NL season home run record-holders
Name game
We like Central Florida’s chances of hitting a long-distance field goal, what with a kicker named Colton Boomer.
Roid rage
NASA intentionally crashed a spacecraft into an asteroid moon.
Well, at least we know Myles Garrett wasn’t driving it.
Temper, temper
Bills offensive coordinator Ken Dorsey became an internet sensation when a camera caught him trashing an iPad in the coaches’ booth at Miami.
A female Utah student was arrested for threatening to blow up the campus nuclear reactor if the football team lost to San Diego State.
Where’s Maury Povich’s DNA testing when we need it?
Tweet of the Week
“Not a math guy, but Albert has rounded the bases for a total distance of 47.7 miles, just off of homers only.” — @_di3tz_, on Albert Pujols’ 700 career home runs
Getting torpedoed
The United States broke the FIBA Women’s World Cup scoring record with a 145-69 rout of South Korea.
If you think they left the starters in to run up the score, consider this: U.S. subs 88, South Korea 69.
Talking the talk
— Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the NFL announcing it was scrapping the Pro Bowl and replacing it with skills competitions: “In honor of Tom Brady, let’s hope we get to see quarterbacks compete in a Microsoft Tablet spiking contest.”
— Mavericks fan Kirk Henderson, via Twitter, translating after the Lakers’ oft-injured Anthony Davis said he’ll play with a chip on his shoulder this season: “Report: Anthony Davis to miss 4-6 weeks with chip on shoulder.”
No jab steps here
Nets guard Kyrie Irving says he turned down a four-year, $100 million-plus extension a year ago because he wanted to remain unvaccinated.
Apparently it was a one-shot deal.
Quote marks
— Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on the NFL contemplating moving Sunday’s Chiefs-Bucs game to the Vikings’ U.S. Bank Stadium because of Hurricane Ian: “Would this the first time anything has been moved to Minneapolis for weather?”
— Geoff O’Neil, via Twitter, what a difference 21 years makes: “There were 5,273 Blockbuster video locations in operation the last time the Mariners made the playoffs.”
— Ex-Jets QB — and noted butt-fumbler — Mark Sanchez, via Twitter, after the Dolphins’ Thomas Morstead kicked a “butt punt” by against the Bills: “Woah … stay out of my lane, bro.”
— Eagles center Jason Kelce, via Twitter, on the NFL’s Pro Bowl skills contests: “Please tell me there’s a hot dog eating competition for OL/DL!”
Milestone memorabilia
Cardinals QB Kyler Murray became Aaron Donald’s 100th career sack victim last Sunday.
Rumor has it there’s now a life-size Murray bobblehead in his trophy case.
Quote, end quote
— RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after Winnipeg’s 54-20 CFL win over flu-ridden Saskatchewan: “QB Cody Fajardo said many Riders were so ill they couldn’t keep anything down — including, it seems, the score.”
— Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, on Florida’s three once-downtrodden teams — the Jaguars, Bucs and Dolphins — all leading their divisions: “Traditional NFL highbrows are now feeling like how movie snobs would feel if Larry, Moe and Curly won the Academy Award for ‘The Three Stooges Meet Hercules’.”
— Nick Canepa of The San Diego Union-Tribune, on Arizona State firing football coach Herman Edwards: “Guess the problem with Herm was that he played to win the games, but didn’t.”
