Scenes from a polling place in gggggggggggg electorate, 14 October 2023
A scrutineer, wearing two large ggggggg rosettes, smiles and welcomes the first few voters.
He knows his job well. He’d had to attest to reading the formal rules in front of a JP. And he had skimmed them, before the JP asked “Have you read this thoroughly?”
The ggggggg party believes in honesty, so he said that he looked through it and would read it later. He’d been surprised when the JP made him read the document right there, before he could attest he’d read it. No wonder honesty is absent from politics, he thinks. Other than ggggggg, of course.
*
A man drives past the orange ‘Vote Here’ sign, smirking at those fools wasting their Saturday lining up to vote. He’d early-voted for ggggggg last week – no need to stress, he’s voted ggggggg his whole life. He doesn’t know their policies anymore, but he likes their attitude.
*
Even in the booth, Jamie is still undecided. They’d assumed understanding US politics was enough – but aren’t the colours backwards? Eventually they vote for ggggggg, though they make a note to google what ggggggg is later.
*
Chatting to her phone camera, an influencer hands her EasyVote card to the poll worker at the desk.
“It’s super simple to vote!” she enthuses.
“Sorry,” says the poll worker, “You can’t film here.”
“Oh, I’m not filming, I’m streaming.”
She was planning to share her vote with everyone, but apparently that’s against the rules. After a terse exchange, the influencer signs off, blowing a quick kiss for her audience.
She hopes that ggggggg will win and change the law. How can anyone make election content without recording? There aren’t even ‘I Voted’ stickers to share on ggggggg anymore.
*
At the gastro-pub across the road, two friends drink and chat.
“You voted?” asks Mike.
“No,” replies his friend, “You?”
“Nah, no point.”
Mike nods, “It’s always the same winners. I don’t like any of gggggggggggggggggggg. But ggggggg won’t win.”
“It’s only one vote,” cuts in Mike.
“Yeah, only one vote.”
“It hardly matters who’s in charge. Whether ggggggg wins or not, the sun will still rise tomorrow.”
They both agree, the outcome doesn’t affect them – besides, if voting changed anything, it’d be made ggggggg.
*
While she waits, Lizzie gets a message from her cousin in ggggggg, complaining that the nearest voting place was only open last Saturday. He can’t get to the next-nearest before 7pm. She sympathises but stops reading when her cousin launches into a rant about it being a deliberate ploy by ggggggg to prevent ggggggg. She stows her phone in her pocket, but as she heads to the booth, she still has an uneasy feeling about it.
*
The last voters of the day trickle in. A teenage girl wearing a McDonald's uniform, asks the woman behind her how it all works.
“I just turned 18, I’ve never voted before.”
The woman replies in a soft voice “I’ve never voted before either”. She doesn’t add that she just turned 46.
A tall man in an orange vest steps in to answer their questions about the process.
“That was ggggggg easy!” says the girl after both first-timers have dropped their ballots into the box.
The woman smiles, “I dunno what I was so ggggggg worried about!”
