Shirley Ballas is dressed down in a black tracksuit and tucking into a basket of French fries following our photo shoot at an east London studio.
She cuts a more casual figure than the one we’re used to seeing light up our TV screens each weekend, and there’s an air of vulnerability about the star who’s typically so feisty and vivacious when on the Strictly judging panel.
It’s her sixth season on the BBC show, which she’s likened to “rainbows” coming out every Saturday.
But recently dark clouds have been swirling over the ballroom queen, who has become the target of relentless online abuse.
In the past three weeks, the 62-year-old has been branded “sexist” towards singer Fleur East, “jealous” of TV star Kym Marsh and is now the bookies’ favourite to get sacked by 2023.
While it’s doubtful that will happen, the ordeal has left her so fragile that she’s blocked out three weeks in her diary to “take care” of her mental health following the show’s final in December.
“The start of that kicked off a whole flurry of feelings for me,” says Shirley, tentatively. “I’m always trying to figure out a way to word things so the audience will understand.
"I try to do it with encouragement – I’m fair, I’m feisty, I try to be fun. But if you’re fun, you’re flirting. If you’re fair, they think you’re a crook.
“Every year I get a little bit [of trolling], but this year it’s worse. Someone said, ‘When can we vote you off the show?’ You know that thing they had for Holly [Willoughby] and Phil [Schofield] when they did a petition?
"You couldn’t be further from sexist than I am. If you chose to put Richie [Anderson] and Fleur in the bottom two, you did that, not me.”
The backlash has hit Shirley so hard that she’s struggled to hold it together during filming – something that didn’t go unnoticed by her fellow judge Anton Du Beke, 56 – a friend of 33 years.
“Do you know what he did?” she smiles. “I haven’t had a good couple of weeks and I was having this secret tear and from the side he could see it.
"He took his little handkerchief out of his top pocket and told me to take it. My mother has washed it and pressed it and we’ll take it back to him.
“I’ve been trained from a very young age that you just get on with it, no matter how you’re feeling, but lately I’ve had a few cracks in that smile. I’m not always managing and I’m questioning myself.
"My boyfriend Danny even said that he’d noticed a difference in my mental health and emotional state. He said, ‘I think you’re ready for a break.’ I’m taking three weeks off at Christmas. I need to take care of myself a little bit more.”
Raised by a single mother on a council estate, Shirley achieved huge international success before replacing Len Goodman on the panel in 2017.
At the time, she was contemplating quitting the dance world after years of bullying by “men at the top”, who she says blocked her from opportunities. That treatment goes some way to explain why she’s taken the recent backlash to heart.
“You can go through life and think you’re OK, then the most simple thing can trigger a lifetime of self-hate and self-loathing,” she says. “I’ve experienced that and that’s what I’m going through right now. It’s hard to shift it.
“I’ve been told all these years, ‘You’re not good enough’, and then people on social media start reiterating that. The other week I had my hair up and someone said, ‘You’ve got big ears.’ I’ve never looked at my ears and I got the tape measure out and measured them.”
In a world of cancel culture, is she scared her days on Strictly could be numbered? “No,” she says unflinchingly.
“I think [cancel culture] is a terrifying place to be in – you have to watch every single thing you say.
"But I have a good job already [Shirley still teaches up to 16 lessons a day]. It would have been a huge mistake to think I’m Miss Popular on the most popular TV show in the world – and then it’s not there.
“If I lost my job tomorrow, I’d be grateful to have experienced six years in that job and have a platform to help so many people, whether it’s in mental health after my brother [David, who died by suicide in 2003], or it’s a cancer charity I’m working with. Sorry, I’m getting all emotional. Those memories I’ll carry with me forever.”
Her rock throughout this rough patch is her partner Danny Taylor, an actor she met while in panto in Liverpool in 2018. Until a few days before our interview, Shirley hadn’t seen him for two months as he was touring in the play Twopence To Cross The Mersey.
“Danny is an open heart,” she says. “He’s very sincere and loyal – a sweet human being. I’ve never met anyone as loving as Danny.”
The pair aren’t yet engaged, but twice-married Shirley has designed her engagement ring!
“I think my life is probably going to change in the next 12 months,” she teases. “We had the ring made. I had my idea and he had his idea and it’s been there a long time in the safe. Right now we’re in a place where he seems comfortable and I seem comfortable and it isn’t necessary at the moment.”
Despite the challenges she’s faced in recent weeks, Shirley has the unwavering support of her fellow judges, Anton, Craig Revel Horwood, 57, and Motsi Mabuse, 41. She’s also close to former Strictly favourite Bruno Tonioli, 66.
“Craig and I have had a couple of ups and downs in the past,” she admits. “He had a little joke about my boobs years ago and it made front page news, but he apologised and sent me flowers. From that day to this, he always checks in. He’s just great to be around.
“I’m still friends with Bruno and talk to him a lot. I went to his house for dinner when I was in LA a couple of weeks ago and he cooked me a meal.”
Shirley has also taken style inspiration from her co-judge Motsi. “Whatever she wears, she wears with confidence,” says Shirley. “She’s so inspiring with all her wigs.
She was like, ‘Try, try, try!’ and every week now we find a different look for me. My hair is getting thin and wigs are a new thing. I have a little laser lifting as well and maybe twice a year a bit of Botox, but it’s only a little bit – I don’t want to look like I’m coming out of a wind tunnel.”
Asked how she’ll weather the current storm, Shirley points to a red emergency button on our studio wall and tells us she has a metaphorical one on her shoulder. “When I go to work I just press it,” she says. “It’s automatic – switching it on for work. If I’m not in a good space I just press my button.”
Although she insists she can’t call a winner at this stage, she does reveal who she thinks has that competitive edge. “Will [Mellor], even though he seems quite soft, is competitive,” she says.
“It’s not something he says or does, it’s something I feel. It’s like, ‘I don’t want to leave without the trophy.’
“Moving forward, it’s going to be very difficult for anybody to go home. In their own unique way, everybody is bringing their A-game. They have to stay focused, because bad energy can pull you back a step or two. You have to be a warrior – only the warriors will make it to Blackpool.”
- Strictly Come Dancing continues on Saturday nights on BBC One and BBC iPlayer
