Shia LaBeouf has revealed that he contemplated suicide before converting to Catholicism after playing the lead role of a Saint in his new film.
The 36-year-old Transformers actor appeared in a video interview on Word on Fire, a Catholic media organisation, on Thursday.
LaBeouf shared that he considered suicide when his career hit an ultimate low point after multiple legal troubles, including his ex-girlfriend British singer-songwriter FKA Twigs suing him for sexual battery, assault, and infliction of emotional distress in December 2020.
The actor reflected back: “At this point, I’m nuclear. Nobody wants to talk to me, including my mother.
“My manager’s not calling. The agent’s not calling. I’m not connected to the business anymore.”
He continued: “I had a gun on the table. I was outta here. I didn’t want to be alive anymore when all this happened.
“Shame like I had never experienced before – the kind of shame that you forget how to breathe. You don’t know where to go. You can’t go outside and get like a taco. You don’t want to go anywhere.”
This follows the actor being fired from Olivia Wilde’s upcoming film Don’t Worry Darling, with Harry Styles having assumed his role.
But with what the Even Stevens actor described as a “deep desire to hold on”, he was able to look towards a different cause.
LaBeouf began studying Catholicism for his lead role as Saint Padre Pio in Abel Ferrara’s film of the same name.
The 36-year-old spent time living in a monastery with Franciscan Capuchin friars, saying that his research gave him “hope” to get back on the right path and save his career.
He said: “I know now that God was using my ego to draw me to Him. Drawing me away from worldly desires.
“It was all happening simultaneously. But there would have been no impetus for me to get in my car, drive up [to the monastery)] if I didn’t think, ‘Oh, I’m gonna save my career.’”
Saint Padre Pio will play at the Venice Film Festival next week.
