Shia LaBeouf has revealed he once came close to suicide and had a 'gun on the table' following a slew of public scandals which almost ended his career.
The 36-year-old Honey Boy actor made the confession during a YouTube interview with Bishop Robert Barron.
“I had a gun on the table. I was outta here,” the Hollywood star shared during the candid 80-minute chat.
Explaining why he contemplated taking his own life, Shia said: “My world had crumbled.
“When all of my designs failed, when all of my plans went out the window, when my life had led to serious infliction of pain and damage on other people, I threw up my hands.
“My plans are garbage and I don’t want to be here anymore. My life was completely on fire.”
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Recalling the lowest point in his life, he continued: “At this point I’m nuclear. Nobody wants to talk to me, including my mother.
“My manager’s not calling. The agent’s not calling. I’m not connected to the business any more.
“I didn’t want to be alive anymore... shame like I had never experienced before – the kind of shame that you forget how to breathe. You don’t know where to go.”
Shia revealed it was his new role as Italian saint Padre Pio in the upcoming film of the same name that “saved his life”.
The Jewish actor said he converted to Catholicism, not just for the role, but because it made him believe in God and feel “hope” like he’d never experienced before.
Sharing he was struggling with mental health issues before taking on the part, Shia said in the interview: “I had nowhere to go. This was the last stop on the train.
“I know now that God was using my ego to draw me to Him. Drawing me away from worldly desires. It was all happening simultaneously.
“But there would have been no impetus for me to get in my car, drive up, if I didn’t think, ‘Oh, I’m gonna save my career.’”
After embracing the religion, Shia said it felt like a “switch happened” as he now tries to get his life back on track.
Shia’s comments come after the actor was dropped from a number of projects, as well as his agent, following abuse allegations made by his ex-girlfriend FKA Twigs.
The British singer and actress, who was in a relationship with Shia from mid-2018 to 2019, is suing him for “relentless abuse” including assault, emotional distress and sexual battery.
The 34-year-old, whose real name is Tahliah Debrett Barnett, alleges he used emotional, verbal and physical violence against her, with their relationship coming to a head over Valentine's Day weekend in 2019 after she and LaBeouf had travelled to a hotel spa.
She filed a lawsuit against him in December 2020 and a court date has been set for April 17, 2023.
Shia has denied all the allegations against him, but at the time did release a statement saying he had a 'history of hurting the people closest to me'.
He told the New York Times he had "been abusive to myself and everyone round me for years".
"I'm not in any position to tell anyone how my behaviour made them feel," he said in an email to the paper.
"I have no excuses for my alcoholism or aggression, only rationalizations.... I have a history of hurting the people closest to me. I'm ashamed of that history and am sorry to those I hurt. There is nothing else I can really say."
*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch
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