When Paul Hausia was celebrating a family friend's 50th birthday he had another at the front of his mind.
That same day, he should have been celebrating his younger sister Amelia Hausia's 50th. But 32 years ago she disappeared in Canberra after going for a late-night walk after an argument with her boyfriend.
Despite more than three decades passing, Mr Hausia said the pain and uncertainty lingers.
"Each year they say it gets better, but it doesn't. You just learn how to control your emotions in those special times," the Dubbo man told the Daily Liberal.
"You celebrate it in your own way. I don't celebrate because I'm happy about it. I celebrate the fact that there could be one day we can celebrate again... or there might not be.
"But you have to live in hope, hope's always the big thing."
Amelia, known to those close to her as Mia, was born in Tonga on July 27, 1974.
She and Paul spent the early years of their lives living there with their grandparents before moving to Dubbo in 1982 to live with their father and his new wife, who adopted them.
Growing up, Amelia also loved sports and was a keen dancer. She even formed a dance group at school to compete in the Rock Eisteddfod competition.
"Mia was loved by everybody, just with her whole personality ... She was bubbly, always laughing and a fun, happy-go-lucky young girl, she was never into any major mischief," Mr Hausia said.
"She was always easy to get along with and really loved dancing, singing and sports."
A graduation, a break up and an ominous note
Before starting year 12, Amelia's parents agreed to let her move to Canberra to finish her schooling. There, she attended Lake Ginninderra College and lived with her grandparents who had recently relocated from Tonga.
When Amelia's graduation came about, what should have been a time of celebration quickly became a nightmare for the Hausias.
She was last seen by her family in the early hours of December 17, 1992 when she came home from a graduation party upset about an argument she had with her boyfriend.
After getting changed, she soon left the house again to go for a walk and clear her head.
She was spotted by a cousin crossing Exhibition Park wearing dungaree shorts and a t-shirt and carrying just a shoulder bag.
When she didn't come home for days after that her family assumed she had gone to stay with her boyfriend. But when her uncle found a note she left in her room a week later they became concerned.
"I went for a walk to have a good think about myself and not only me but everyone around me," she wrote in the letter.
Amelia's uncle contacted her boyfriend and he told him he hadn't seen her since the graduation party and the break up. Her uncle called the police and her mother and father, who quickly travelled over from Dubbo to Canberra.
None of Amelia's family in Australia have seen or heard from her since.
Unanswered questions and unending hope
Paul found out Amelia was missing on Christmas day. He had been staying with his then-partner in Newcastle.
At first he blamed himself, wondering if things would have been different if he was there for her that night.
"It was the unknown for me ... there were a lot of unanswered questions," he said.
"As a big brother, I thought, if I had been there, could I have stopped her?"
The first few years after Amelia disappeared were a troubled time for Paul. He turned to alcohol and even ended up in jail.
"There was a lot of pain and anger ... unfortunately the people that wore the blood were my daughters and their mother, my first wife. It's something that I'll never forgive myself for doing," he said.
The last confirmed sighting of Amelia was on December 22, 1992. CCTV footage shows her at Woden Plaza.
The last time she was heard from by anyone in her family was in July 1993. Police say Amelia called her biological mother in Tonga and said she planned to spend Christmas there.
She did not explain where she was or had been and never turned up in Tonga.
It would be the last time anyone in her family heard from her.
But 32 years later, Mr Hausia still holds hope he might one day be able to celebrate her birthday with her again.
"There's never a day where you stop hoping and there's never a day where you don't think 'what if', I've just learned how to control the emotions that come with that," he said.
"I've gotten to the stage of my life where hope is not about hoping to find her. She's obviously left for a reason. I don't know what that reason is or was. The only one who knows is Mia.
"That's not to say I don't want to find her ... that'll always be there. But hope to me now is that I hope that I can talk to my girls about these challenges that I've gone through and hope they will never have to go through it themselves."
'In the blink of an eye they could all go.'
Mr Hausia was in Canberra this week for the launch of Missing Persons Week. This year's campaign, Always Searching, focuses on eight cases of missing women from around Australia.
About 50,000 missing persons reports are made to police every year and about 2500 people remain missing long-term.
Mr Hausia said meeting other families who've been through the same thing has helped him to process his emotions.
"I wasn't actively involved with the whole Missing Persons Week meet up until four or five years ago," he said.
"When you hear the stories that they tell and how they deal with it, it's similar to how it's affected my family... some turn to alcohol, or to drugs, or to violence.
"You go through it all ... the not knowing, the tears, the angriness ... turning into something that you don't want to."
Although he hasn't seen her in 32 years, Mr Hausia said he is reminded of his sister every day by his daughters who share her competitive nature and her striking hair style.
He said he has found better ways to cope with his emotions now and recognises while he can't change the past, he can make a better future for his children and grandchildren.
"Now I look at Missing Persons Week as, not so much about me anymore, but more about how I ensure that my two daughters don't go through the same," he said.
"My message to everybody is look after who you have in your life because in the blink of an eye they could all go, don't make excuses of why you shouldn't support one another."
