THE mother of a five-month-old baby who sustained lifelong injuries at the end of 2020, likely as a result of being severely shaken, says she felt let down by the mental health care system.
She once waited at the Mater Hospital for hours during which time she was not seen, despite having a seizure on the floor, Newcastle District Court heard on Thursday.
She was seeing a Cessnock-based general practitioner, Dr Olakunle Fowosere, as well as a psychiatrist, Sydney-based Dr Kim Nguyen, but continued to struggle with her mental health and the side effects of medication.
At any one time she was taking numerous anti-depressants, Valium and other drugs, in ever-changing combinations and dosages that were hard to keep track of, after being diagnosed with complex PTSD, panic disorder, major depression, and anxiety.
A month out from giving birth to the baby, she was struggling to care for her toddler, who had challenging behaviours, while experiencing severe morning sickness that lasted all day, and extreme fatigue, while her partner was working an hour away in the mines.
The then 26-year-old father, who cannot be identified and is referred to only by the initials GP, is on trial after pleading not guilty to a charge of inflict grievous bodily harm with intent on the baby who suffered a brain and spinal injury on Saturday, December 12, 2020.
The mother, 29, gave evidence on Thursday, describing what life was like in the lead up to the incident.
The side effects of her medication included restless legs that would wake her at night and force her out of bed, leaving her exhausted the following day.
She recalled two instances of self-harm in which she cut herself with a knife, inscribing the words 'no love' into her own arm, meaning she had no love for herself, as well as the word 'help'.
"I was going back and forth and in circles with doctors and psychiatrists and I just didn't feel like I was getting the help that I needed," she said.
Medicos say the baby suffered an acute injury, likely the result of being severely shaken, leaving her paralysed from the waist down, relying on a catheter, and with irreversible brain damage.
The critical issue, defence barrister Paul Rosser, KC, said during his opening address on Wednesday, was whether it was mum or dad who inflicted those injuries.
The mother said she showed her arm to her family doctor, Dr Fosowere, who was also an assistant pastor at her parents' church, as well as to Dr Nguyen.
"I just told her (Dr Nguyen) ... I just wanted help, and I told her that, I just told her like I'm trying to get help, I'm trying to help myself, we're trying all these different things and it wasn't working," she said.
"I guess I just needed to see a light at the end of the tunnel, and some reassurance from her that it was going to get better."
During the baby girl's birth on July 5, her mother was given antibiotics to which she was allergic, and became very unwell.
She left hospital after one night, and the family received an unannounced visit from the Department of Communities and Justice to conduct welfare checks on the two girls, but were never seen again, she said.
The couple argued about who should get up to the baby, which was bottle fed due to the cocktail of medications the mother was taking.
"We were trying to get me help for so long, but it just went on and on .. we didn't think it would take two years to get me stable." she said.
"I wasn't the easiest person to deal with but I couldn't really help it, and him getting upset with me didn't make it any better."
The judge-alone trial continues.
