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Wales Online
Wales Online
National
Neil Shaw

Sexpert says there's one thing in The Idol you should never copy without consent


A sexpert says dirty talk in The Idol is "shocking" and not "inclusive" - and people should get consent before using it with their partners. Jodie Slee, 39, said the HBO show uses "fairly explicit" language in sex scenes and claims it doesn't add anything but "shock".

Viewers of the drama starring Lily Rose Depp and The Weeknd were outraged at the derogative language used in the show - with references to suffocation - and some called the sex scene "gross" and "nasty". Jodie would like to see sex normalised in the media as well as "other forms of sex".

She encourages people to "go for" dirty talk if they want to try it but to speak to their partners beforehand to get consent. Jodie, a psychosexual therapist said: "The dirty talk is fairly explicit. It's shock for the sake of shock.

"It's good to show a range of sexual practices. But I'm not sure it adds anything but shock. It's showing a very thin, beautiful woman being submissive - that's not groundbreaking.

"It's not really sex positive. It's not inclusive."

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Jodie does encourage people to use dirty talk with their partners if it's something they'd like to try. She said: "If it's between two consenting adults, you can be as explicit as you want.

"You can't spontaneously use explicit language. Run it by the other. People are obsessed with spontaneity. Consent is sexy."

Jodie said people often think they have to be really imaginative with their language in the bedroom. She said: "People have a different perception of what it should be. They think they are going to need to be really imaginative.

"It can be as simple as saying 'that feels really good' or 'I like it when you do that'. Try not to over think it. If you say anything with confidence and enthusiasm people love it.

"People get turned on by that. The more you do something the more normalised it will become."

Jodie encourages couples to speak beforehand about the words they are and are not OK with using. She said: "Talk about the words that are fine and might trigger.

"There might be words that give people the ick - like 'daddy'. It's very individual.

"Words like slut you would want to run by someone - some people get off being humiliated and degraded."

Jodie said we should all be talking about sex more - before, during and after being intimate. She said: "People don't talk about sex at all. You could have been in a marriage for 20 years and not spoken about it.

"Talking in the bedroom would make everyone's experiences a lot better. People struggle with it - surrounded with the message that we shouldn't talk about it.

"People end up being submissive - waiting for their sex life to come to them. We should be making it happen ourselves.

"I think it's mature to talk about sex. I don't think there is anything wrong with dirty talk. If you want to try it - go for it."

READ MORE:    Michael Gove labels new Partygate video of Tories breaking Covid rules as 'indefensible'
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