Seth Meyers
Late-night hosts all recapped Volodymyr Zelenskiy’s appearance before the US Congress on Wednesday, in which the Ukrainian president, via video, appealed for more support against the Russian invasion and received a standing ovation. “I can say with absolute certainty that’s the warmest reception anyone has ever received on Zoom,” Seth Meyers said on Late Night.
In response to Zelenskiy’s address, Joe Biden announced another $800m in aid to Ukraine. “The consequences for Russia have been intense, and there’s likely more coming,” Meyers explained. “On top of that, it seems like Putin did not expect that his barbaric invasion of Ukraine would go this badly or take this long.”
According to some reports, Putin thought Russia’s military could capture Kyiv in two days, but the invasion has now been under way for three weeks. “Which explains the new law he passed that changes the entire month of March to one day,” Meyers quipped.
Meyers also cheered the protest of Marina Ovsyannikova, a producer and editor for Russian state television, who burst on to a nightly news broadcast with a sign protesting the war in Ukraine.
The sign read, in part: “Don’t believe the propaganda. They’re lying to you here.”
“That is an incredibly brave protest knowing the likely consequences,” said Meyers. “In fact, it’s hard to fully grasp just how brave that is, because we take free speech for granted here.”
Stephen Colbert
On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert also praised Zelenskiy’s address to Congress, which received bipartisan cheers. “You know it was a powerful speech when that many old people jump to their feet,” he said. “There were knees in that room that were alive during the Roosevelt administration.”
Biden’s planned $800m in new military aid to Ukraine was “remarkable – not only because of how fast he moved to get them what they needed, but at no point did he use the phrase, ‘I would like you to do us a favor, though,’” Colbert joked, referring to Donald Trump’s infamous 2019 phone call with Zelenskiy that led to his first impeachment trial.
Colbert also mocked the 190 Papa John’s pizza locations that will remain open in Russia, even as other companies – McDonald’s, KFC, Starbucks – shut down business in the country. These shops are primarily owned by Russians through a franchise agreement with a company controlled by an American, Christopher Wynne, who explained his reasoning as: “The vast majority of Russian people are very clearheaded and understand the dark gravity of the situation they’re in … and, at the end of the day, they appreciate a good pizza.”
“Adding: unfortunately, we serve Papa Johns,” Colbert joked.
Trevor Noah
Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s stirring speech to Congress had to be the first time in history people applauded a Zoom call. pic.twitter.com/beBgWyFpz1
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) March 17, 2022
Zelenskiy, in waxing fondly on America to US lawmakers, “knows way more about America than most US senators know about this country,” Trevor Noah observed on the Daily Show. “Like could you imagine how they would sound if they had to give an inspiring speech using Ukrainian history?
“I’m also impressed that Zelenskiy was able to dodge so many landmines in his research,” he added. “Because you realize, this could’ve gone very wrong – ‘And now to 9/11, which as we all know from YouTube, was inside job. I see you, Bush.’
“For real, it was a really impressive speech,” Noah continued. Especially the ending, when Zelenskiy switched to English and addressed Biden directly: “You are the leader of the nation. I wish you be the leader of the world. Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.”
“I’m pretty sure that was the first time in history people applauded a Zoom call,” Noah joked. “It’s also impressive that Zelenskiy was able to deliver that message in his non-native tongue. In fact, when you think about it, his English is better than the past two US presidents.”
Jimmy Kimmel
“I think he’d rather get fighter jets, but the standing ovations were good,” said Jimmy Kimmel of Zelenskiy’s speech. “It was bipartisan – Republicans and Democrats stood for him, which is almost impossible. It’s like getting Kim and Kanye to agree on a daycare situation. It’s very difficult.”
Zelenskiy appealed to Congress for help, “and Congress was like, ‘Listen, we’d love to help, but we just made daylight savings time permanent and we are wiped out,’” Kimmel joked.
Biden remains reluctant to institute a no-fly zone over Ukraine, which could escalate into a direct conflict with Russia, a nuclear superpower. “But we are willing to wear blue and yellow lapel pins at all the award shows this month,” Kimmel noted. “So that’s something, right?”
One of the “few bright spots” in the horrific Ukraine invasion, Kimmel continued, has been watching Russian oligarchs’ superyachts get seized by other governments; one Russian-owned yacht is stranded in Norway because locals refuse to refuel it. “Every once and awhile the Norwegians like to remind us they descended from Vikings, you know?” said Kimmel.
