Seth Meyers
Late-night hosts speculated about Donald Trump’s combative testimony in his New York civil fraud trial, as the former president reportedly lashed out at both the judge and attorney general. Separately, Trump referred to the trial as “political lawfare” – “maybe you should spend less time coming up with names for things and more time coming up with a defense,” said Seth Meyers on Monday’s Late Night.
“So far, the entirety of the Trump defense has basically been that they had no idea what was going on in their own company,” Meyers explained. Last week, Trump’s eldest two sons, Don Jr and Eric, both executive vice-presidents at the company, pleaded ignorance and blamed their accountants.
“They’re accountants! You give them information and then they just prepare the statements. They’re not the ones running your business,” Meyers laughed. “You’re supposed to be in charge of them.”
“Also, you can’t believably say you employ experts when your family has also employed the law firm of Weirdo, Goofball and Nuts,” he added over a photo of Trump’s disgraced legal team of Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell and Jenna Ellis.
Trump himself took the stand on Monday, and “let’s just pause for a moment to appreciate how dramatic this is”, said Meyers. “A former president being grilled in court about systemic, years-long fraud at his company, which is the entire basis of his fortune and his image as a supposedly successful businessman.”
After Trump took shots at the trial rather than answering questions, the judge reprimanded him. “They couldn’t even make it 25 minutes without having to wrangle him like they’re trying to give medicine to a cat,” Meyers joked. “He was supposedly the commander in chief – he can’t even get through one day in court without getting in like nine different fights.”
The 2024 presidential election is still a year away and “a lot can happen,” Meyers concluded ominously, “but no one should doubt that as of this moment, Trump could very well win, which would give him the power to pardon himself, essentially erase his indictments and declare himself above the law.”
Jimmy Kimmel
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel opened with a new New York Times poll that “scared the hell out of everybody”, as it found that Trump led Biden in five out of six key battleground states for the 2024 presidential election. “Which is something I can barely wrap my head around,” said Kimmel. “It’s like after the Return of the Jedi, the people in the galaxy were like, ‘you know, this Princess Leia is kind of a dud … why don’t we give the emperor another shot?’”
According to the poll, voters under 30 only prefer Biden by a single point. “Young voters are said to be disenchanted with Biden’s positions on climate change and Palestinian rights, and so they’re leaning towards a guy who believes in neither of those things at all,” Kimmel quipped.
The poll also found age to be a factor in voters’ preferences, as Biden is considered too old. “Yeah, he is old. But I want to remind you – Biden is 80, Trump is 77. They’re basically the same age,” said Kimmel. “This isn’t a choice between some old cadre and a young up-and-comer; this is a choice between Mr Burns and Mr Magoo, OK?”
Meanwhile, at the New York trial, Trump lashed out at the judge and the attorney general to the point where the judge instructed his lawyers to get Trump under control. “Which, of course, they can’t,” said Kimmel. “The reason this case really gets under Trump’s basketball-colored skin is because it challenges his claim, his whole thing, that he’s this uber-wealthy real estate tycoon.”
While Trump’s eldest two sons already testified, his daughter Ivanka has claimed that traveling to New York to testify was an “undue burden” on her Florida-based family during the middle of a school week. “As if those kids don’t have 11 nannies,” Kimmel joked.
