Late-night hosts spoke about Donald Trump coming back to the US Capitol for the first time since the January 6 attack and how Republicans greeted him.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers spoke about how the rightwing media covered Biden and Trump this week with the president on a political visit in Italy and his opponent returning to the Capitol.
Meyers said that in comparison with Trump’s bizarre foreign visits, Biden’s was “you know, normal”.
Fox News pundits tried to criticise Biden for wanting to rest after landing. “Have you guys ever taken a red-eye overseas?” Meyers asked.
He said that they are “thrown because they’re not locked in a game of handshake chicken” playing footage of Trump’s strange handshakes with international leaders.
Meyers said he would rather watch the viral clip of Biden not moving at a Juneteenth celebration this week while everyone else danced. “That’s what I look like when I’m at a wedding without my wife,” he said. Meyers also said that given Biden’s age and the situation, “standing perfectly still is genuinely the right play”.
He moved on to the Republicans embracing Trump as he returned to the Capitol since inciting a riot that put them all in danger. “Do you people have no shame?” he asked, saying that Trump “almost got you killed”.
Reportedly, he was thrown a birthday party by his colleagues. “This is like if all the teens at Crystal Lake got together to throw a surprise party for Jason,” he joked.
Meanwhile, Trump is also trying to get the supreme court to overturn his conviction, “colluding” to fix his guilty verdict. “Maga Republicans see fake conspiracies everywhere they look but not the real one right in front of them,” he said.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert spoke about Trump’s ongoing search for a vice-presidential candidate, speaking of the “vetting paperwork” that is apparently being sent out.
He joked that it would read: “Complete the following chant: hang (your name here).”
One candidate who isn’t in the running is Kristi Noem, who made headlines recently when she admitted killing her dog. “She tried her best,” Colbert said. “She even gave Trump puppy dog eyes – literally, she sent him a box of puppy dog eyes.”
A lesser-known name on the list is the North Dakota governor, Doug Burgum, whose past includes some “fun quirky details” including that he once worked as a chimney sweep. “We might get to hear some GOP talking points in a bad cockney accent,” he said.
Colbert also spoke about yet more damning news for supreme court justice Clarence Thomas, who has now changed his statement to say he did in fact knowingly receive two undisclosed luxury trips. “It wasn’t a lie, it was an inadvertent admission,” Colbert said while reminding us that this “grift is not an outlier for Thomas” with him receiving 10 times the value of all gifts received by fellow justices.
He also spoke about reports of an invasion of US news suites by British editors including at the Washington Post with Will Lewis, hired to run the paper by Jeff Bezos after working for tabloids under Rupert Murdoch.
Colbert said it was “quite the string of bosses” before joking that “in college he had an internship with the eyeball guy from Pan’s Labyrinth”.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host also spoke about Trump meeting with Republicans at the Capitol, joking that “they always return to the scene of the crime”.
One alleged talking point during his “gripe-filled airing of legal and personal grievances” was Taylor Swift, with Trump reportedly saying of her support for Biden: “Why would she endorse this dope?”
Kimmel said they should instead be asking themselves: “I don’t know, why did we endorse this dope?”
The meeting took place at an “undisclosed location, which means any of the five McDonald’s within a 10-minute radius of the Hill”.
He took aim at Mitch McConnell, who had previously slammed Trump for his involvement in the January 6 riot leading to the former president making crude and racist comments about McConnell’s wife. McConnell this week showed support for Trump with Kimmel calling him “spineless little Mitch”.
This year’s Republican National Convention will take place in Milwaukee, a place Trump has called a “horrible city”, but he “might be in jail or home confinement by then”.
Kimmel looked forward to Trump “and his ankle bracelet Zooming in from the toilet at Mar-a-Lago”.
