Seth Meyers
Two days after the midterm elections, “the knives are out in the GOP”, said Seth Meyers on Thursday evening, as the Biden administration had the best midterms showing for an incumbent party in 20 years and a predicted “red wave” of conservative victories failed to materialize.
The Late Night host sped through several excuses from rightwing media, such as Fox News host Jesse Watters’s theory that the disappointing showing by the GOP was because there’s not a lot of hatred for Biden among voters.
“I love watching it dawn on Fox News in real time that the stuff they’ve been saying for over two years is total bullshit,” said Meyers. “It’s like watching someone’s face drop on Love Is Blind when the reveal happens, and they realize they are not into the person they’re engaged to.
“Rightwing pundits cycled through every excuse they could think of for their poor performance – voting machines, young people, single women, cities – but eventually they did land on one explanation that seems more in the ballpark of reality: Donald Trump,” Meyers added, listing several examples in which Fox News personalities distanced themselves from the former president.
“Man, Republicans are running away from Trump faster than Josh Hawley on January 6,” he joked. “These guys went from devoting themselves to Trump for over six years to suddenly tossing him overboard in the span of 24 hours.”
Meyers also lambasted the idea that Trump would relinquish control of the GOP quietly. “You guys created this monster and now you’re going to have to live with him,” he said. “You don’t just get to wave it all away” and say things like, as one Fox Business host put it, “Trump is the past.”
“You wish he was!” Meyers retorted. “It’s too late, motherfuckers! You doinks could’ve helped impeach and convict him and you probably would’ve been riding high on a red tsunami Tuesday, but instead you had to kiss the ring.”
Stephen Colbert
On Late Night, Stephen Colbert checked in on the Senate race in Georgia between Raphael Warnock and Trump-backed GOP candidate Herschel Walker, which is now headed to a runoff in December. The race could decide control of the Senate, so “both sides of the aisle have been pouring all of their resources into the Peach state”, Colbert explained.
“But there’s one specific resource the GOP would like to keep out of the state,” he continued. That would be the former president, whom Republicans fear could “poison the well”, with one insider calling Trump “toxic” and “a distraction”.
“Yes, they don’t want the former president saying something stupid to distract from Herschel Walker saying something idiotic!” Colbert joked.
Rightwing media have begun to move away from Donald Trump, with both Fox News and the Wall Street Journal running articles calling him an election “loser”. The New York Post’s cover called him “Trumpty Dumpty” who had a great fall. “It’s not a positive sign when a print newspaper calls you a failure,” said Colbert. “It’s like getting a scathing critique from a rotary phone.”
Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel also looked to Georgia, where Herschel Walker recruited the Texas senator Ted Cruz to help him on the runoff campaign trail. “You know your campaign is in trouble when somebody picks up the phone and says ‘get us Ted Cruz right away!’” he joked.
“Nobody likes Ted Cruz, and yet somehow he’s still out there doing his thing,” he added. “He’s like the senator version of Nickelback, it’s incredible.”
Kimmel also touched on the new book from Mike Pence, called So Help Me God. “The original title was Mother Locked Me Out and Now I Live on the Steps, but his editors told him to change it,” Kimmel joked.
The book will be released on 15 November, the same day that Trump has teased a “big announcement” many speculate will kick off his 2024 presidential campaign. “That’s right, he can’t let Pence have anything, at all,” Kimmel laughed.
Trevor Noah
"I'm gonna be blunt here: Elon Musk is running Twitter into the ground...and it's the best Twitter's ever been." @trevornoah pic.twitter.com/COQ3V0q06b
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) November 11, 2022
And on the Daily Show, Trevor Noah relished chaos at Twitter, as Elon Musk’s new verification subscription plan has led to numerous accounts impersonating celebrities. “Oh no, because anyone can buy verification, they’re now impersonating famous people, who could’ve seen this coming?” Noah deadpanned. “What? Everyone? Wow, where were you guys $44bn ago!
“I’m gonna be honest, and I’m going to be blunt here: Elon Musk is running Twitter into the ground. And it’s the best Twitter’s ever been,” he said. “The thing is an absolute train wreck, and I’m here for it!
“Who knows, maybe all of this verified real fake people on Twitter chaos is actually part of Elon’s plan,” he added. “Maybe this is what he’s doing on purpose. Soon no one will know a real account from a fake account, and then he’ll be like ‘guys, did you see someone impersonating me and spending $44bn on Twitter? That was crazy! Well I’m just gonna take my money and be on my way.’”
