Seth Meyers
On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host said that the Florida governor and potential presidential candidate, Ron DeSantis, had “attracted the bloodshot eye of Sauron” in that he had caused former president Donald Trump to attack him.
He released a strange video this week claiming that Florida had not been improved by the presence of DeSantis, something Meyers happened to agree with. “Everything people like about Florida was in place before Ron DeSantis,” he said.
He said that the anti-LGBTQ+ Republican “didn’t do something magical” to make it any better and that the video is “such a funny preview of how Trump is going to tear into all of his opponents”.
Meyers said a major problem for voters is that DeSantis is “a weird guy but not as weird as Trump” so the weird choice is Trump but “if you like normal, DeSantis is a little bit too weird”.
Reports have come out that DeSantis also eats “like a starving animal who has never eaten before” and on a flight he allegedly enjoyed eating chocolate pudding dessert with three of his fingers. “That’s not very de-sanitary,” Meyers joked.
He continued, outraged, saying “you don’t get to use your fingers to eat pudding!” before adding: “I never thought I’d say this to anyone but you should eat more like Donald Trump.”
He said the guy who “eats KFC with a knife and fork” definitely “beats the pudding dude”.
Trump has also been struggling to give DeSantis an effective nickname, trying for Ron DeSanctimonious but then shortening it to Ron DeSanctis which Meyers said “makes total sense, smart people always shorten long words like that”.
On Fox News, hosts praised Trump for his new image, saying that he had stopped having lunch with white supremacists. “Hannibal Lecter has been looking svelte since he stopped eating people,” joked Meyers.
But the big question is whether Trump will get indicted for his attempt to overturn the 2020 election or his hush money payment to Stormy Daniels.
“I’m as tired as anyone,” Meyers said of the long wait for a charging decision, joking that it is “like waiting for Sam and Diane to finally kiss”.
Meyers said he would rather they went with the “coup stuff first” as that “might be better for democracy”.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live! the host also spoke about Trump’s legal issues, including the calls he made to try to find him election votes in Georgia.
This week saw another recording leaked, this time to the Georgia speaker of the house, who he tries to pressure to help his false claim. “He basically tried to order the presidency over the phone like it was a stuffed crust pizza,” Kimmel said.
He also spoke about prosecutors in New York attempting to bring criminal charges over the potentially illegal Daniels payment. Kimmel played footage from the far-right channel Newsmax where the host claimed it was not illegal to just randomly pay a porn star $130,000. “Presidents do that all the time,” Kimmel observed wryly.
This week has also seen Trump’s newest lawyer Joe Tacopina do the rounds, getting angry on MSNBC and struggling to maintain Trump’s lies. Kimmel said he was “born in the ashtray of Rudy Giuliani’s Lincoln Continental” and that “Ralph Macchio had better representation in My Cousin Vinny”.
