In the worst news I think I’ve heard all year, Selena Gomez and Jeremy Allen White might be dating. I’m the EPITOME of screaming, crying, throwing up RN.
Did I know Jeremy was even single? No. Did that stop me from fantasising about a world where I would “YES, CHEF” every filthy request of his? Also no.
Now please, pour one out for all the girls and gays who have been in an imaginary relationship with Jeremy Allen White since they first saw his forearms in The Bear (The veins??? Excuse me???).
The rumour mill kicked off after our fave celeb gossip DeuxMoi shared a blind item, aptly named ‘The Bear’. In it, the anonymous submission suggests that a Golden Globe winner (White) was dating an A-List singer/actress (Gomez).
“A recently separated Golden Globe winner whose show just premiered its second season is *casually* dating again,” the blind item read.
“He met this A-List singer/actress during a cover shoot for Vanity Fair, and they’ve been in touch since she returned to the States from filming overseas.”
It’s painstakingly obvious who the submission is referring to, but if you need some extra assurance, White and Gomez posed on opposite ends of the February cover of Vanity Fair’s 29th annual Hollywood issue.
Does he not know that it was supposed to be MEEEEEE?
While the rumours haven’t been confirmed yet, if my boo DeuxMoi says it’s true, I’m guzzling it all up. JELENA 2.0 IS A GO!
But for real though, I don’t even know what they would talk about.
The rumours have gained even a little iota of credibility after my husband White was spotted shopping for groceries without his wedding band. For those not keeping up with Jeremy’s inner life (sort out your priorities, girl), his wife of three years, Addison Timlin, filed for divorce against him two months ago.
A couple of days ago, White was reportedly ‘blindsided’ when his ex, Timlin, called herself a ‘single mom’ in a Mother’s Day post. “Co-parent is not how I pictured it. It is so fucking hard,” she wrote in an Instagram post.
Understandably, people are having incredibly MIXED reactions to the new #Jelena news. Including me, who has been a sobbing mess all morning because a man that doesn’t even know I exist has the audacity to find Selena Gomez, hottest woman in the world, hot. Thoughts and prayers, please.
In the wise words of Carmy, “Why are you fucking with me? Why are you fucking with me? WHY ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?”
“This is such a random pairing,” one person wrote.
Others wrote as if they had plucked thoughts straight from my brain, with one saying “HE WAS SINGLE ????????” while another wrote, “IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MEEEE”.
“He’s gorgeous can you guys stop bullying my husband?” another said in response to some wild backlash from Selenators.
“Selena get away from him he’s hideous,” one Selena fan wrote, while another said, “HELP HE LOOKS B0TCHED.”
CAN YA’LL PLS LEAVE MY HUSBAND ALONE? AND ALSO MY WIFE? God, it’s a tough day to be bi.
Until this news is officially confirmed, I’m going to be rewatching Season One of The Bear for… the plot. Yeah, that’s it. The plot…
Please join me in sobbing to these Tweets:
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