A brave Scottish mum who was left paralysed after ‘bending over to pick up a pen’ has told how she planned to end her own life as she struggled to come to terms with her condition.
Michelle Moffatt was working as an ICU nurse in November 2019 when she suffered two prolapsed discs in her back, which began pressing on her nerves and spinal cord.
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Following surgery complications, the 41-year-old fitness fanatic was left paralysed below the waist and wheelchair-bound - sending her into a deep depression report the Record.
After her condition failed to improve by January 2022, the mum-of-four decided to travel to the Dignitas assisted dying facility in Switzerland.
But just one day later, Michelle, received a phone call from her GP who told her about a peer-support charity called Spinal Injuries Scotland, who she now credits with saving her life.
She explained: “I felt like I couldn’t be a proper wife to my husband, or a real mum and believed I was a burden to everyone.
“By that point, I had been medically retired from my job as an ICU nurse and felt that I had nothing to offer anymore. I was in such a bad place that I genuinely believed that ending things was best for everyone I cared about so I was going to join Dignitas in Switzerland.
“Knowing I had a plan, I actually felt less upset because I had made my mind up. But the next day I got a phone call out of the blue from my GP checking up on me. I told her what I decided to do and that’s when she told me about Spinal Injuries Scotland.
“At first I didn’t think they would help me because I hadn’t broken my back in a horrible accident - I’d just bent over to pick up a dropped pen from the floor. But I sent off an email anyway and they got back in touch telling me that they had peer support groups.
“I had felt so alone and I didn’t think anyone else had felt the way I did. Hearing the stories of all these amazing people who were living their best lives despite being in a wheelchair really hit home. All of a sudden, my mindset shifted.
“I was still depressed and in a bad way but I realised that ending my life wasn’t the solution. I didn’t know how I’d be okay but I was determined to find a way to get there.”
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Michelle, who is now an ambassador for the charity, said: “Spinal Injuries Scotland literally saved my life. Looking back at how I was feeling just over a year ago, it’s as if it was another person. It’s amazing what peer support can do.
“I now actively choose to try and change my mindset. I’ve got my family, my children Yasmine, Joshua, Darrah, Zachariah and my husband Ross. I’ve got so much to live for and it’s so much more than I’ve lost. I’m so lucky to be alive.
“Rather than thinking ‘oh I can’t be an ICU nurse anymore’, I still have my registration and I can still do some voluntary things. I’ve got my own business as well.
“I used to absolutely love riding my road bike and actually refused to get rid of it for two years in the hope that I’d get to use it again some day. But after trying out hand cycling, I sold the bike and now I go hand cycling with the kids.
“The charity has really helped me so much and I just want everyone to know all about them. It scares me to think that someone else out there could be feeling the way I did because they don’t find the charity.”
To find out more about Spinal Injuries Scotland, please click here.
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