A couple have told of their horror at being reported to social services for misgendering their autistic child during therapy. The parents - whose two vulnerable teenagers were born girls but have both identified as boys - say the stress caused by the intervention amid family counselling sessions had been a “living nightmare”.
They had to wait an agonising five months before they found out no further action would be taken. The mum, from East Renfrewshire, who does not want her children to be identified, told the Record that years of navigating their children’s gender dysphoria with their school, council and health service almost “tore the family apart”.
She said: “There are so many parents out there who just want to try and help their children the best they can but are just fumbling along in the dark. They don’t realise there are so many others going through the same thing because everyone is too scared to talk about it.”
The parents, whose children are now 14 and 16, were undergoing family therapy with the NHS’s child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS) last year when they were told they were being reported to social services for not using their eldest child’s preferred pronouns.
The mum said: “We thought it was a safe space for my partner and I to talk about our feelings. We came in one day and they said that they were contacting social services because we weren’t affirming our eldest as he/him.
“Our child had for the last few years being referred to themselves as they/them. For months we heard nothing then last month we got a phone call from social services. We explained to them that the kids had their own therapists.
"They could tell we’re a loving, close family. They have closed the case now but we had months of pure stress and worry over it. I’m not going anywhere near CAMHS again. I can’t believe what they did to us.”
The couple’s eldest child, who is diagnosed with autism, decided they wanted to change gender after going to high school. Their middle child, who is undergoing assessments for suspected autism, was in P7 when they started to express a desire to change gender around the same time. Both youngsters have also suffered bullying.
Last year, Dr David Bell, a former consultant psychiatrist at the controversial Tavistock NHS Foundation Trust, raised concerns that children had been receiving the wrong treatment while dealing with issues like trauma, depression and “large instances of autism”.
The NHS was told to close the UK’s only dedicated gender identity clinic for children and young people after it was criticised in an independent review led by Dr Hilary Cass. The Scottish Government has said its Supporting Transgender Young People in Schools guidance helps all schools to deliver a “safe, supportive environment, regardless of gender, and ensure that everyone’s rights are respected”.
An investigation by our sister paper The Sunday Mail found in November that as a result of that guidance teachers had been ordered not to tell parents if their under-age children are identifying as a different gender.
The parents in this case say there were also kept in the dark by staff at their children’s East Renfrewshire school. The mum said: “We had talked nonstop about different genders and sexualities. We listened and had open discussions with them for quite a long time.
“The thing that worried us the most was the link to Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and referrals of girls with autism to the Gender Identity Development Service. That was a huge red flag for us. It seemed there was no watchful waiting approach open to the children. It was all about affirming and being pushed down that path of affirmation.
“We decided it might help them if they wanted to have a different name but we never said it was ok to call them by different pronouns at school. When we found out it had been happening for such a long time that it was difficult to come back from that. They said they were just following Government guidelines and doing what they were told."
The teenagers' dad said Scottish Government guidance used in schools was “damaging” vulnerable families like his. He said: “Lots of people don’t see the effects it has on children’s families and the way that parents are excluded from the discussion in terms of policy.”
East Renfrewshire Council said education around gender is dealt with in a “sensitive way, with children’s rights a key part of the approach”. A spokesman said: “Our schools decide which resources to use to best support children and young people based on knowledge of their individual needs, and within the parameters set by local and national guidance and frameworks.”
NHS Ayrshire and Arran said it could not comment on individual cases but takes complaints seriously. A spokeswoman said each CAMHS patient is “treated according to their individual needs.”
The Scottish Government said The Supporting Transgender Young People in Schools guidance says schools should support young people who are considering their identity. A spokesman said: “This is an individual’s choice. It is not for schools to influence or determine a young person’s choice but to support them once it is established that a young person is considering their identity.”
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