Calls for “universal bereavement support” to be implemented in schools in West Dunbartonshire have been backed by emotional councillors, who shared their own stories of loss.
Councillor Sophie Traynor, who lost her mum to bowel cancer when she was just 16-years-old, asked council to recognise the differing levels of bereavement services for children and young people within schools across West Dunbartonshire.
She was supported by councillor Gordon Scanlon who lost his dad to lung cancer when he was just 14.
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The motion presented to council read: “The current support that is in place varies significantly across schools in the area and is not holistic enough to fully support grieving children and young people throughout their school careers.
“The motion is based on the National Childhood Bereavement Project's “Growing Up Grieving” report which was delivered by Included which looks at this issue on a national level.
“Council requests the Chief Education Officer to address the lack of universality of bereavement support provided in schools across West Dunbartonshire through a bereavement policy that takes at a whole school approach to death, dying and bereavement to support all children and young people who are experiencing grief.”
During the meeting councillor Traynor spoke more of her experiences, and why it is important for organisations like West Dunbartonshire Council to support children and young people who are grieving.
She said: “As I have already mentioned the motion is based on the work undertaken by Includem’s report which was submitted to the Scottish Government and published on February 22, 2022.
“Now Scotland can ensure that all children and young people are able to access age appropriate support as and when they need it.
“Grief is a complex and confusing thing for anyone. Especially for a child or young person experiencing the death of someone close to them.
“I should know. On the 29th March, 2013, my mum passed away after a year long battle against bowel cancer. I was 16-years-old.
“The grief I felt after this was intense and quite frankly life changing. I am not telling you this for you to feel sorry for me, or for any kind of sympathy but to express the knowledge and understanding that I have of the bereavement support being provided to children and young people within our schools across West Dunbartonshire.
“Grief is not a one time event. It comes in waves and can affect us all at different times - sometimes when you least expect it.
“It is important that support for grief is delivered on an ongoing basis in a way that can be accessed as and when it is needed most. It has been several years since I left school and I would imagine things have progressed slightly since then.
“From the conversations I have had, there is still room for improvement within these kinds of services. This motion is in no way a criticism of the work or support West Dunbartonshire already provides but more of a chance to improve upon this for any individual who requires this in the future.
“This motion is calling for a universal and comprehensive approach to grieving and grievance services for schools across the local authority area to ensure any child or young person experiencing grief is able to be supported in a consistent way across the various primary and secondary schools.
“I would like to hope that every councillor within this chamber will get behind this motion to help better the lives of children and young people affected.”
Councillor Gordon Scanlon “echoed the statements of his colleague” and seconded the motion.
He said: “I also experienced the loss of a parent when I lost my dad 15 years ago when I was just 14 to lung cancer.
“When you go back to school straight after it, you are spoken to and people will tell you that they are there to support you but at that point there was no real practical support offered.
“It was simply come and speak to me if you want to speak to me and everything was immediate but as councillor Traynor intimated there, grief doesn’t work like that.
“At the time I didn’t want to speak to anyone but further down the line I had a very difficult time with things. Perhaps further then I would have liked some support but by that time there was nothing on offer.
“It was treated very much as a one time event. No disrespect to the staff or teachers but I don’t feel that structures were in place to adequately support myself. But I very much echo the sentiment of the motion and support it.”
Depute Labour leader Michelle McGinty congratulated the councillors for bringing the motion before council and told them they were very brave to talk about their personal experiences.
She too shared what it was like to support a child who had lost a parent.
Councillor McGinty said: “It does take a lot to put yourself out there and open something that is really really raw.
“I haven’t lost a parent but my children lost their dad so I have seen it from the other side, as a parent trying to support your child through grief.”
Councillor Lawrence O’Neil also talked about the loss of his dad. He said: “On the 17th September, 1978, my father died very suddenly at home with me.
“My eldest sibling was 18, the youngest was nine, my brother and I were very close together, aged 13 and 12 at the time.
“His anniversary last year was a momentous time for me and I had dreaded it for many years as that was the day he had been dead longer than I had known him to be alive.
“I was thankful at the time that we had pastoral care [at school] to talk about what happened but at times you don’t want to talk about it.
“Twenty years ago my mum died but as an adult I was able to cope with that differently because of the coping mechanisms and I was sadly used to death within our family.
“I am fully supportive of the motion here.”
Councillor Dannie Lennie, who lost his dad in 1974, thanked councillor Traynor for bringing the motion before councillors.
He said: “When you listen to the contributions we have heard from yourself and others, you can hear how difficult it is to talk about.
“I lost my dad at 14 in 1974, 36 years before councillor Scanlon unfortunately lost his dad and your experience was the exact same as mine when going to school.
“So nothing had changed in 36 years, you still went to school lost, you had no one to talk to, you got the message if you want to speak come and see us, but you just didn’t do it unless you were completely lost.
“It is not until later on when you are 19, 20, 21 or 22 when it starts to hit you. The motion is incredibly important.”
Following the discussion, the motion was agreed unanimously.
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