Rylan Clark has opened up about his darkest battles with mental health, admitting he tried to take his own life and spent weeks in a mental health hospital.
The TV host reveals all in his new book, telling of how he woke up one day and decided that he needed to tell his boyfriend that he cheated 'years ago', but was left distraught when he then left him.
Rylan then went into 'self blame' mode and felt as if his life had been ripped apart - recluse in his mum's house.
Read more: This Morning's Rylan Clark victim of 'cruel' move by studio guest after snake panic
The Mirror reports that he writes: "And for the first time in thirty two years I felt I couldn't carry on no more. What's the point I thought. I'd lost what I thought was everything, the one thing I always wanted.
"A man I loved. A family of my own. And now it was gone. And so I tried to end it."
Rylan then admitted himself to a mental health hospital, where he was able to access the help he desperately needed to fix his heartbreak. Speaking at an event in London on Wednesday night, Rylan reflected on that time, saying: "It is no secret that my marriage broke down last year.
"And I disappeared for five or six months and people knew when I didn't turn up for work that something was wrong because I am always on [SIC] telly, you know what I mean? But the truth is what I went through last year was so revisited with writing about it.
"A lot of people said to me, especially my publishers 'It will be cathartic. It will be a good thing for you.' And it was to a certain extent, but actually it was awful because you will find out in the book just how bad I got from my own self and it was. The book opens with a disclaimer put it that way. That is how bad it got.
"For someone looking from the outside in I look as if I have the perfect life. You know I have got a family, I am lucky to have money in the bank, I have got a regular job but things are not always as they seem. In my head it was really difficult."
Referencing just how bad things became, he voiced to the audience: "I went back to physically being in that situation and no-one can help you. Anyone who is in a situation where you are in such a deep, deep, dark place, please talk to people. Please do this and please do that.
"But I will be completely honest with you like I have always tried to be, you are the only one who can get out. You are the only one. I was the only one who could physically dig my nails into that mud and try and pull myself up.
"I have got an amazing family and team around me and I have got amazing friends. I was in a very lucky position. I could pay money and be put in a place. I was admitted to a mental health unit which is [SIC] up for me to sit here and say now because I don't know that person.
"I just never thought that would happen to me."
The decade that changed my future by Rylan Clark is out on September 29 is published by Seven Dials.
*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch
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