Rylan Clark has revealed the severe toll his mental health breakdown had on him, sharing openly about a period so intense he lost both his sight and ability to speak.
The presenter, 35, said he experienced “bizarre stroke-like symptoms” amid his mental breakdown following his 2021 divorce from ex-husband Dan Neal.
Three years on, the TV star has opened up about the intensity of his breakdown, confessing: “I lost my speech. I lost my vision for a little bit... It was like having a really bad stroke. It was just so bizarre.”
After his marriage to Neal ended in 2021, nearly a decade after he finished fifth on The X Factor, his mental health deteriorated rapidly.
Dealing with the sudden collapse of his marriage without respite, he attempted suicide and required hospitalisation in a psychiatric facility.
Clark said his recovery hasn’t be quick, explaining: “It took me months to go back to work,”
He added: “I think I was off for like four or five months. And I rarely would have four hours off, let alone f***ing four months.”
However, the TV star said he needed to “start again” and “reset” himself.
Reflecting on the difficult period of his life, he shared on Jamie Laing's podcast Great Company: “I see it as like a self-destruct button, something in my mind was going to f*** up your seemingly perfect life. F*** it up, press this button and blow it all up.
“And what then unfolded was months of me thinking, why would I do that? Why would anyone want to blow up their perfect life?”
The This Morning presenter gradually realised that his life wasn't perfect and had been wrong for quite some time, prompting him to make changes.
He said: “Something in the back of my mind must have just always been underlying. And it just got bigger and bigger and bigger, went press the f***ing button. And I just slammed it without even hesitating because it was in my own head.”
Clark said he began taking small steps, with the help of his mum Linda, which eventually had a positive effect on all parts of his life.
He began: “I was living with my mum at the time because I didn’t want to be in my own house. I didn’t want to do nothing. I couldn’t be trusted to be perfectly honest.
“I remember my mum, you know, she’s 70 odd years old, and all she wants is her son to get better. And she’d say, ‘you make me a tea’, and I physically couldn’t, I couldn’t, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do this.
“And remember, one day, I walked to the kettle and pressed the button, walked away, forgot about it. Then the next day, I pressed the button, watched it boil then I ran away.
“The next day, it’d be, press the button, watch it boil, put the teabag in the cup, and so on, and so on and so on until I got to that point where I could make a cup of tea and walk it over to my mum.”
Now, Clark said that he deals with challenges as they come, stating: “Even now, when I think I can’t do this or I’m too busy or I need this or there’s no way I could do that job. Or I can’t sing that song or I can’t do it.
“When I sit there and go, well, you couldn’t make a fucking cup of tea. And now you could be a f***ing barista if you want.”
