Television presenter and comedian Ryan Hand was only 20 when he lost his mum to cancer.
Now 14 years on, the Co Down says he was thinking of others going through the same journey as he penned an emotive track about spending Christmas with a special person who's no longer here.
'Missing You At Christmas' is a new festive release from the BBC and Q Radio presenter is a moving tribute to Ryan's mum Pauline, which will resonate with many people missing a loved one this Christmas.
Read more: Hospice nurse trained as 'future healthcare leader' after loss of mum to cancer
The Newcastle star lost his beloved mum Pauline in 2008 to ovarian cancer. She was only 56. Three years previously, her sister Eileen had also died from the disease, aged just 57.
Now 35, Ryan teamed up with Northern Irish singer-songwriter, producer and popstar Jessica Hammond, who helped record the track. A regular on screen, on air and on stage as a DJ, this is a new artistic direction for who has plans to release more music in 2023.
"I’ve written music since I was a teenager, but I’ve never really shared it to the world. One of my main goals for 2023 is to record and properly push the music I’ve written, so it’s nice that my first release is a song about my mum," Ryan explained.
"At the start of November I was out driving and started singing the opening lines of the song 'Walking through the winter I know, I’ll never see you footsteps in the snow, walking through the winter I go.'
"The rest of the song fell naturally into place and it felt just right to make a touching tribute to my mum. It’s quite an emotive track, a real tearjerker, and most who have listened said they cried during it."
Ryan says that although his new song is about his mum, he believes that anyone who has lost a loved one can resonate with the lyrics.
"It’s a song for everyone who finds it hard at Christmas I guess," he said.
"I recorded an acoustic version of the track and sent it to Jessica Hammond, a local singer/songwriter/producer. A couple of days later we were hunkered down in Jessica’s Dundonald studio making the track alongside her co-producer Matty Graham.
"Jessica and Matty are absolute wizards when it comes to producing a real, professional sounding song and I was delighted with the outcome.
"Jessica’s voice is sensational and she gave me a few tips for getting the best out of my voice in the studio. Having a background in TV production came in handy too, I also made a video for the track, which is nearly just as emotive as the song itself."
Ryan added: "It sounds cliche, but I’d give absolutely anything to spend another Christmas with my mum. That feeling of warmth, togetherness and having everyone around the table can’t be replaced.
"There was so much love in our house all year round but especially at Christmas. Mum’s cooking was extraordinary - her roast potatoes were divine!
"I always remember the good China coming out at Christmas, the crystal glasses were filled with Shloer, her gravy boat was overflowing and the dinner table always looked pristine. She put so much effort into making those Christmas dinners.
"I remember us all at the table, wearing our silly Christmas hats telling the awful jokes inside the crackers, eating Quality Streets on the sofa and watching movies afterwards. Mum loved a wee Bailey’s so I’ll always remember that as her drink at Christmas.
"When you’re younger you never know what to get your parents for Christmas, one year I got mum a foot spa and she was over the moon, I’ll never forget her sitting on the sofa with warm water bubbling her feet.
"Mum got so excited decorating the house, putting lights around the windows, porch, erecting reindeers on top of the conservatory roof and hanging a dangling Santa from outside bedroom windows - she went all out.
"I’ll have a wee Bailey’s on Christmas Day in her memory. I know that I won’t be the only one missing someone at Christmas."
Ryan recently ran the London Marathon for Marie Curie and also did a fundraising treadmill running event outside Q Radio.
"I’ve supported the work of Marie Curie ever since Mum died as their care and support is invaluable to people and their families at the end of their lives," he explained.
"It’s good to know that their support line will be available to help people throughout Christmas and New Year. It’s one of the toughest times of the year for bereaved people who find it hard to smile when everyone else seems to be smiling and laughing."
There’s loads of information and support which can be found at www.mariecurie.org/help/support or calling the helpline on 0800 0902309, which is open from 10am to 2pm on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day, throughout the rest of the week and over New Year’s Eve and Day from 10am – 2pm.
'Missing You At Christmas' is available on Apple Music, Spotify and YouTube.
READ NEXT:
Belfast runner fighting cancer "overwhelmed" by £23K fundraising support
NI man on how his 'world came crashing down' after skin cancer diagnosis aged 25
NI nurse backs calls for new palliative care strategy after dad's final illness
- UFU president's pride at wife's key role in providing end of life care
For all the latest news, visit the Belfast Live homepage here. To sign up to our FREE newsletters, see here.
