Hello Baltimore (and John Waters)! Not only was the library open tonight, but it was filled with filth, as legendary director Waters graciously allowed the queens to perform skits inspired by the Queen, Divine.
Team Cha-Cha Heels (Kennedy Davenport and Katya) squared off against Team Eggs (Ginger Minj and Trixie Mattel), while Team Poo (Miss Fame, Pearl and Violet Chachki) brought up the rear. And the musical theatre numbers played out as every other musical and/or theatre number has this season: Kennedy couldn’t quite remember her lines, Pearl’s performance was flat, Violet was forgettable and Miss Fame couldn’t take direction. Ginger, Katya and Kennedy were, however, fantastic – especially Ginger, who channeled the Edith Massey from Pink Flamingos so well that they showed a split-screen with the two characters to the audience. (Katya, as is her wont, gave a rousing Anne Ramsey impersonation during her song.)
Meanwhile, on the runway, the challenge was to wear your ugliest dress, so Kennedy brought back her old-lady look from the episode three mini challenge (which she won), Katya went trashy, Ginger wore all lime green, Trixie channeled the 80s, Pearl got dressed up as a Harajuku girl (which wasn’t ugly), Violet sold us clown realness, and Miss Fame looked like a cross between Downton Abbey and Mother Gigogne from the Nutcracker Suite (but still pretty).
On the runway, RuPaul asked the queens who should go home, and with the exception of Violet (who called out Trixie), everyone said Miss Fame, whose response was “Fuck those bitches” – and she named Pearl.
Ginger Minj then took home her third win, and RuPaul asked Fame and Pearl to lip sync for their lives. Pearl turned it up (and went full Harajuku girl) for her performance; Miss Fame’s lip sync, swaddled in layers of material and crinoline, just got lost. Sashaying away, Miss Fame announced: “The cosmic queen departs!”, which topped her chicken-grooming soliloquy as her weirdest statement yet.
Megan: If there was ever a season weighted in favor of a comedy queen, it’s season seven: there have been only two challenges that haven’t involved singing and/or acting so far this season. So it’s a terrible season to be trying to sail through on your looks and your ability to mimic girls with talents other than being pretty. It’s probably fair to say that a lot of past winners wouldn’t have gone as far this season; then again, it’s probably fair to say that the queens who’ve used the win to their long-term career advantage had more going for them than their looks alone.
Dom: It was a bad night to be pretty. Miss Fame, Violet and Pearl were never Mr Waters’s people. I love Fame, but she’s had a humor bypass. She was so awful in the reading mini-challenge. That girl couldn’t spot a double entendre if it took her from behind. Kennedy Davenport’s line on Fame pretty much summed it up when Ru asked who should go home: “I would have to say Miss Fame because clearly the struggle is real.”
Megan: I have to say, Miss Fame’s ongoing inability to recognize a double entendre makes me wonder just who she hangs out with on her own time. Now, I have giggled over double entendres since before puberty, so I can’t blame my passion for them on being a fruit fly, but ... is it really possible to be a gay man in New York City and not pick up a least a working knowledge of blowjob and bottoming references? But perhaps that speaks to Ru and Michelle Visage’s critiques that she just doesn’t listen.
Dom: Yes – it’s hard to imagine she could have gone much further without a comedy makeover. Ru and Waters would never have allowed it. Have you seen Ru and John Waters in RuPaul Drives, that interview series Ru did? That is amazing. At one point Waters talks about how they are the new mainstream – clearly he’s kind of kidding. But when they had those nappy ads in the breaks, between the Boy Butter and the Nasty Pig, you have to wonder.
Megan: Can we just admit that there was not enough John Waters? More John Waters, less of Violet mugging and screaming about poo. She wasn’t a good enough actress for that: I didn’t believe that she was conflicted about touching it; I didn’t even believe that part of her wanted to touch it at all. That’s always the genius of what Waters gets out of actors: you can’t possibly relate to their weird desires, but you totally buy that they have them.
Dom: Ginger I could totally see in a Waters movie. Last week she was on the bottom, tonight she went out on top. Who doesn’t love versatility like that? There’s something great about Pearl too. And Kennedy. And Katya. And Trixie. And Violet. Every cut now is going to be difficult. But yes – the unkindest cut of all tonight was Waters. He had about five lines. The Waters shortage was criminal – worse than California’s.
Favourite lines:
Katya to Miss Fame: “I have never met someone able to shove their head so far up their ass without smudging their eyeliner.”
Violet to Katya: “At this point you should make like your hairline and recede.”
Pearl to Katya: “Are you confused? The saying is ‘young, dumb and full of cum’.”
Miss Fame (albeit unintentionally): “Deeper is not funny.”
Ginger (about Trixie): “Neither of us has ever topped anything before.”
