Former rugby star Brent Pope feared people would be gossiping about him when he was admitted to St Patrick’s University Hospital.
The 60-year-old has dealt with anxiety and depression for most of his life, but the pandemic worsened his condition.
Brent moved into St Patrick’s University Hospital but admitted he felt “shame” being there.
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He said: “While you may tell me now that I had done the right thing, I still felt a lot of shame because I knew people in there would know who I am.
“I remember being too scared to go down to the lunch room and mix with other people, so I just stayed in my room and sat on the edge of the bed.
“It wasn’t a very enjoyable time. It was a horrific time, is the truth.
“I was so conscious of people seeing me and saying, ‘That’s the guy from the TV’. I was scared the conversation when they were ringing home would be, ‘Guess who’s in here’.
“But I have to walk the walk and talk the talk, given I have spoken about mental health for years – and that’s why I’m sharing my story,” he told the Sunday Independent.
Brent recalled how his mental health worsened while in lockdown.
“At first I thought I could work my way through it by journalling To get it out of my mind and down on a page.
“Now I’m too scared to read those journals because every line will say the same thing: ‘Just hang on, Brent’, ‘Just get another day’.
“I was thinking all the time, ‘I’ve managed it pretty well for the last 40 years and I’ve done a lot of work on myself and that’s usually been enough’, but suddenly it wasn’t. I had tried everything and it wasn’t working.”
He said he made a call to a consultant psychiatrist when he found himself leaving his home in the middle of the night walking around the streets of Blackrock.
“I said: ‘I’m in a bit of trouble here’. My friends packed up my bag and he got me in pretty smartly. Making that call saved my life,” he added.
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