Thomas Tuchel has embraced his inner Sunday league energy over the past week following Chelsea's sanctions from the UK Government. Rather than lay blame elsewhere or deflect, Tuchel has handled a challenging week with grace and, as Gary Neville described, a "statesmen like" demeanour.
But even with the uncertainty Chelsea face, Tuchel has still managed to drop some gems in his unmissable press conferences. Last week after the win at Norwich he inspired concerned supporters at the end of a seismic day.
"So far we can trust each other and this will not change. As long as we have enough shirts and a bus to drive to the games we will be there and will compete hard," he said.
READ MORE: Thomas Tuchel named as best Chelsea manager with Jose Mourinho and Carlo Ancelotti dethroned
READ MORE: Chelsea reveal greatest assets as Thomas Tuchel and Emma Hayes forced to pave way for the future
He continued the bus chat on Sunday after the dramatic win over Newcastle, responding to questions over how Chelsea would get to Lille for their Champions League tie by saying: "We can go by plane. If not, we go by train. If not, we go by bus. If not, I drive a seven-seater!"
Tuchel mistakenly left out the four other seats required to make a team or maybe he expects some of Chelsea's players to sprint to Lille as a warm-up. And I mean, would we put it past N'Golo Kante to accomplish that? It sounds like a light Sunday jog for the superhuman midfielder.
But by his own words, we here at CareFreeChelsea thought it would be fun to theorise who would be on Tuchel's bus to safely navigate their way to the Champions League quarter-final. Here are our seven picks for those who make the cut.
1. Jorginho - To give directions
The Italian 'Regista ' would be tasked with sitting at the front alongside Tuchel with a large map, probably too awkward to hold still while the bus is in motion. But despite some back-tracking and diversions that slow down the route, Jorginho's cool demeanour would ensure Chelsea arrived on time.
2. Rudiger - Chaos
Rudiger would virtually sit on every chair during this trip, hassling and shoving everyone. Pumping them up, butting into conversations and probably taking control of the road trip playlist at some point. Just at that point when everyone is about to fall asleep, Rudiger would blast "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC at full volume.
3. Reece James - Calming presence
To counter-balance the vocal leadership of Rudiger, Reece James would add a calming presence at challenging moments, acting with precision and style. I could imagine when one of the tyres flattens and everyone is stressing, Reece would come out, casually bring out some tools and replace the tyre without much fuss.
Shrugging his shoulders, before putting his headphones back on and walking back onto the bus as the rest of the group look on astounded. Just like his on-pitch persona.
4. Timo Werner – For the jokes and Red Bull
This is where Werner should come into his element. Whatever we say about his on-pitch issues, his off-pitch character has been infectious. He would provide the laughs on this journey, likely turning up late to Cobham just before the bus is about to leave.
A baseball cap backwards, carrying a six-pack of Red Bull as Tuchel berates him in German. He rushes to the back of the bus with everyone else laughing away.
5/6. Kai Havertz and Mason Mount – Oooo Friends
Kai Havertz and Mason Mount are the typical best mates who sit together during the entire journey, sharing headphones, watching films and blasting their Insta stories with in-jokes. These two would go nowhere without each other and their connection can add the genius spark to this bus journey when things get boring.
7. Thiago Silva - The Wise Traveller
In this magnificent seven, I can almost see Thiago near the back of the bus, alone, donning an Indiana Jones-like hat to shield his eyes from the sunlight. He offers scraps of wisdom to his younger peers and sets them on their way.
He is a step ahead of everyone else, spotting potential problems on the route and ensuring things never go awry. Despite starting off as a quiet figure, his unmatched experience will prove vital near the end.
