What are your pets, what are their names and what are their nicknames?
My dog Max’s full name is Maximus Toretto Blueberry Millman Gay. He is a very lesbian dog. As for his nicknames, he goes by Fluffin, Fluffinator, Fluxin, Fluxinator, Mr. Poopy Papadopoulos, Mr. Poopyhead, Mr. Poopy and Maxipoo. That might be enough.
What is the weirdest thing you have done for love?
Live with cats.
What has been your most cringe-worthy run-in with a celebrity?
I had interviewed Michelle Obama on stage at a conference and afterwards, there was a line where you could take a picture with her. Because I interviewed her, I got to be at the front of the line but there were also some celebrities there – Issa Rae and Tiffany Haddish. I really admire Issa Rae, I think she’s incredibly talented, so I said to her, “The last season of Insecure was superlative.”
I don’t use the word superlative in my day to day life. I don’t know where this came from! And Tiffany Haddish went: “‘Superlative’? Well aren’t you faaaancy.” I was like, “Oh my God, let the floor open up and take me now.”
Until recently you had your own advice column. What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?
It is not that glamorous, but it was my friend Matt. When I was entering the academic job market, he told me: “Just be yourself.” That can seem trite, but it really wasn’t – what he was saying was, if you aren’t yourself in a job interview and you get the job, you have to pretend to be that person forever. If you go in as yourself, everyone will either accept you for who you are or they don’t – but either way, you get to be true to yourself. I took his advice very seriously and it made my entry into academia much easier.
And what is the worst piece of advice you’ve ever received?
When I was teaching at Purdue, I was going to move to Indianapolis – it is a mid-sized city, but it has a nice airport, shopping, theaters, things to do. But my colleagues told me I needed to move to Lafayette, a much smaller town, so I could be closer to campus and be more present for my students. They were so wrong. I should have stayed in Indianapolis. And it’s not because I can’t handle small towns. It’s because that specific town was incompatible with my sanity, alright?
Which of your opinions has changed the most over your lifetime?
Most of my opinions don’t change. It’s not because I think I’m right, but I think we believe what we believe. And most of the things I believe are things like, women should have bodily autonomy. Violence is bad. Everyone pay their fair share of taxes. We should have a much higher minimum wage. These are not things that I’m going to change my opinion about.
If anything, I will say that achieving some measure of success and financial stability has only radicalized me, because the more comfortable I’ve become, the more I recognize that everyone should have ease in their lot. Everyone should be able to have a roof over their head. They should be able to feed their children. They should have access to good schools and good childcare. My opinions have got, hopefully, more progressive, if anything.
What’s your most controversial pop culture opinion?
Oh boy. Her fans can be crazy. What I will say – I think Taylor Swift is incredibly talented, but her music simply does not speak to me. I wish it did, because my nieces are so enamoured with her. My wife and I are very happy to support them in this, but I think that I was just a little too old when Swift became incredibly popular.
I respect her as a business person and as a musician. Clearly, she’s talented, but her music just doesn’t grab me. That’s okay.
What book, film or piece of music do you always return to and why?
Legends of the Fall. It’s just a great movie. I love an epic saga, I love a bunch of people riding horses. Why not? As an adult, I recognise that some movies are actually not very good, but I can still enjoy them.
What has been your biggest fashion crime to date?
During the height of the pandemic, I would wear absolutely anything to the grocery store. I once wore knee high socks, shorts, a shirt and a weird hat to the grocery store, with gloves and a mask, because at that time we didn’t really know how you could get Covid. I embraced it. I was like, this is a time when I can wear whatever. It did not matter. I wore overalls. It was awesome.
What are you secretly really good at?
I have incredible reflexes. If you throw something, I’m gonna catch it. If I drop something, I will get it before it gets the floor. If something needs to be caught, I’ve got you.
Roxane Gay is speaking at Carriageworks in Sydney as part of the Festival of Dangerous Ideas on 24 and 25 August, then at Melbourne Town Hall on 27 August as part of Now or Never. Her latest book, Opinions, is published by Hachette
