JOSÉ IT AIN’T SO
Blatant time-wasting, multiple bookings and sideline scuffles between rival benches. Diving, dissent and an exasperated referee left at the end of his tether upon being driven to distraction by the petulant touchline histrionics of José Mourinho. We have been here before, 20 years ago, on a warm Seville evening when Porto sh1thoused their way to Big Vase victory over Celtic under the supervision of a certain Special One.
On Thursday night we saw it all again, except on this occasion it is almost certainly no exaggeration to state that Mourinho masterminded defeat for his Roma side, his own touchline chicanery (and that of a team of backroom staff tasked with badgering and baiting the fourth official on rotation) almost certainly proving a distraction. His Roma players were motoring along very nicely against serial winners Sevilla until they blunderbussed themselves in both feet by opening the scoring.
Electing not to play anything much in the way of more football, Mourinho’s side chose not to press home their advantage but instead elected to sit back, concede the inevitable equaliser and then foul, timewaste, argue and play-act their way to a penalty shootout they would go on to mess up. At which point, the eye-gouging, team doctor-abusing, inciter of tribal moon-howlers some still view as a roguishly charming but ultimately harmless devil really lost it.
The main target of his ire? The referee, Anthony Taylor, who delivered a man-of-the-match performance in the face of repeated harassment, intimidation and downright cheating from the players of Roma and their support staff. “It was an intense, vibrant game with a referee who seemed Spanish,” Mourinho said. “It was yellow, yellow, yellow all the time,” he added, only factoring in the bookings earned by himself and his own backroom team while choosing to omit the yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow and yellow Taylor brandished in the face of assorted incredulous Roma players.
But while Roma lost the final and the Big Cup ticket that goes with it, plunging Mourinho’s future at the Serie A side into doubt, they were at least able to leave the Puskás Aréna with their heads held high. “We lost a game but not dignity,” intoned Mourinho, moments before adjourning to the stadium car park to confront the subject of his ire like a belligerent drunk accosting a perceived pint-spiller at closing time.
Captured on video approaching Taylor to label him “a disgrace” while effing, jeffing and occasionally dropping the puta-bomb, nobody could accuse the 60-year-old of being anything other than a model of decorum and good sportsmanship on this, the occasion of his first European final defeat. Nobody except Uefa, who we can only hope throw an entire library’s worth of books at the dummy-spitting diva once Taylor his filed what promises to be an explosive (post-)match report.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I will take away that I have had the privilege of coaching the best football player ever, Leo Messi. Saturday will be his last game at the Parc des Princes. I hope he will be welcomed in the best way possible” – the PSG coach, Christophe Galtier, confirms the worst-kept secret in football by announcing Messi’s departure this summer.
RECOMMENDED READING
The Football Weekly book is coming in September, and you can pre-order your copy right now. Featuring: Mark Langdon’s World of Meat! Car Parks with Ben Fisher! And an exclusive David Squires cartoon. You know it makes sense.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
“I usually write in jest, but this time I am serious. José Mourinho should be banned from football if the game is to have any future. I do not know how many small impressionable kids were watching the game last night and what lessons they would have learned. Anthony Taylor probably needs therapy now” – Krishna Moorthy.
“So a child is today in possession of the losing manager’s Big Vase medal. But at least it’s a child who likes football, unlike the one who threw it to him” – Justin Kavanagh.
“Re: Wednesday’s Daily. Let me be one of 1,057 pedants to point out that in succession, the brother of Shiv and Roman is Kendall. A bit like the cake: absolutely minted” – Simon Mazier (and no others).
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Justin Kavanagh.
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