Rolls-Royce called to offer a red-carpet experience for the premiere of “Dirt,” a surprisingly wholesome and well-paced coming-of-age movie set in the world of Pro 4 truck racing. The movie features a Rolls Wraith performing with muscular style in several car chases. Rolls dispatched a dark green Phantom VIII to the downtown Los Angeles offices of my lovely attorney. Exiting through the double-secret high-security doors on the back of the building, we found the car waiting in the shade, white glove driver poised to open doors and settle our briefs and garment bags into the trunk. Destination, Peninsula Beverly Hills.
Nine months after Rolls-Royce CEO Torsten Müller-Ötvös offered a private viewing of Phantom VIII, and five months after driving Phantom VIII for the first time, opinions have not changed: Phantom VIII is the finest luxury car on the planet. Other fine sedans can serve, but from this day to the ending of the world no other car made in 2018 possesses the charisma and cultural distinction of Phantom.
Because one of the partners at the firm knows the real Lincoln Lawyer—they attended Dodger games together for years—we had a good laugh about the Phantom Lawyer as we wafted to Beverly Hills, playing with the motorized crepe privacy curtains and the reclining, tilting, massaging seats. Much fun can take place in the Master’s compartment of a Phantom.
Peninsula Beverly Hills hosted we happy few members of the Rolls-Royce Posse for the afternoon, including makeup and hair for the ladies. Before saddling up for the trip to Grauman’s Chinese, we spent an hour in a secret garden at the back of the hotel for champagne and dessert—and one of the best hamburgers I’ve ever demolished.
Peninsula provides a flawless experience, anticipating what is needed before a thought bubble rises above a guest’s head. I stupidly left my phone amongst the desserts, Peninsula’s head of marketing found it, and chased me down as we were slipping into the Green Hornet, headed for the theater. He pressed the dimple to bring up the image of my Faerie Princess on the Lock screen, and said, “She looks like you.” He reminded of Hector Elizondo’s character in the 1990s rom-com “Pretty Woman.” If my lovely attorney ever becomes the Phantom Lawyer, I want to live in a suite at the Peninsula.
Federal law does not allow sale of Phantoms with a divider bulkhead and window, to separate driver and front passenger from the Master’s compartment. Shame, really. In other markets, owners commission Rolls Bespoke’s favored jeweler to set diamonds and other precious stones across an arc of wooden veneer. A divider seems wholly appropriate in an extended wheelbase car. One can indulge all sorts of trouble in the back of a Phantom.
Even with the front passenger seat adjusted all the way back to accommodate Rolls North America’s always-on force of nature PR man, my tall attorney could stretch her legs fully, toes barely touching the seat base. And note in the photos just how utterly massive those seats are, with extremely deep seatbacks that support and protect. Stand one on short wooden legs and you’d have a fine gentleman’s smoking chair.
Even with the U.S.-spec open cabin, the rear seats will gentle any man’s condition. Most Phantoms in the U.S. are standard wheelbase, no chauffeur. But Phantom VIII with extended wheelbase is a car best enjoyed from the rear seat, commanding view through the tall passenger cabin and down the long hood to the Spirit of Ecstasy—all juxtaposed with SiriusXM Deep Tracks playing on the stellar audio system thanks to that zany PR man up front.
On our hour-long drive home in virtual silence, Phantom’s alloy backbone and several tons of refinement proved themselves beyond doubt. Only one time in a day and a night that covered perhaps 50 miles did a massive divot in the pavement make itself known as anything more than a distant timpani strike. I’m pulling hard on the laboring oar for my Phantom Lawyer.
