Robbie Williams thinks he is still alive because he never cracked America.
The 50-year-old singer has spoken honestly about his struggles with mental health and addiction over the years and he is relieved he was able to escape the glare of the spotlight in the UK to spend time living in Los Angeles in the late 2000s, where he felt "safe".
He told the Telegraph magazine: “I mean, I genuinely think that I’m very lucky to be alive, and I wonder how much in part that is because I didn’t break here.
"And there has been a safety that I don’t feel anywhere where I am famous.”
But the 'Angels' hitmaker hopes his upcoming biopic will give him a second chance at attracting attention Stateside.
He said: “I’d really like to show off for America now. I’m ready for it.”
Robbie believes he is in the "best place" he's ever been with his mental health thanks to the love and support of his wife Ayda Field and their four children.
He said: "I’ve struggled with mental illness, and all the way through the most successful parts of my career, I couldn’t derive joy from them.
"There’s been a couple of decades, maybe a bit more, of just depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, dyslexia, dyscalculia - all the things we diagnose our friends with at dinner parties, I’ve got them.
"Through working on myself, through seeking help and taking help, and through the love of a good woman and four kids, and just growing up and maturing, I’m in the best place that I’ve ever been."
The former Take That singer knows he doesn't always come across as a "good guy" in 'Better Man' but believes showing off his flaws is what has given the film "heart".
He said: “I think there may be a heart to this movie that is missing from a lot of biographies because people are scared.
“I think where other people are sanitising their biographies for the sake of the intellectual property, I don’t have the sense to do that. I’m not a good guy in this movie. I know people feel for me in this movie, but I’m egoic and wrong, all the way through, really, till the end.”
And the 'Let Me Entertain You' star doesn't see anything unusual in his willingness to speak candidly about his issues.
He said: “This is f****** breathing for me. This is easy. I don’t know why.
"And it’s only when it’s pointed out that it’s unusual, I go, ‘Oooh, is it?’ I think it’s braver and dumber to not be so revealing. And more self-harming to not air the dark corners of your life.
"I suppose if you’re experiencing shame, like I do, you want to release the shame. It’s like a valve. It’s bleeding the radiators. I enjoy bleeding the radiators because if I get it out there, it’s not in my head.”
