Let me start off by saying I was proud to play for England.
I treasure the 26 caps I won for my country and my pulse still quickens when I recall the seven goals I scored with the Three Lions on my chest. Keep that in mind when I admit that a pang of regret crossed my mind this week when I saw that Ivan Toney had been called into Gareth Southgate’s squad for the Euro qualifiers against Italy and Ukraine.
My delight at Ivan getting his reward for the brilliant form he has produced for Brentford over the last two seasons was tempered by my own frustrating memories of trying to break into an England team that had a glut of goal-getters all at the peak of their powers. I sincerely hope he wins his first England cap.
I felt Toney’s disappointment when he was called into the squad for the first time before the World Cup only to spend the entire evening watching the game against Germany from the bench.
I am glad he’s got another chance - and that the Football Association charges hanging over his head did not deter Southgate from making the right choice. But the bottom line for Ivan - and any other centre-forward with designs on leading England’s attack one day - is that Harry Kane will always be the first name on Southgate’s team sheet.
Kane stands on the threshold of becoming the country’s record goalscorer. He is the nation’s captain, a wonderful ambassador - and has scored 22 goals for his club this season despite the problems at Tottenham. Harry, at the age of 29, isn’t going anywhere soon. And that’s where my experience of playing for England comes in.
I can admit now, more than 20 years since I won my last cap as a substitute for Michael Owen in the 3-0 win over Denmark that took England into the quarter-finals of the 2002 World Cup, that I didn’t enjoy my international career. And that’s because I was only there to make up the numbers.
I felt I deserved more minutes on the pitch because there were times when I believed I was the best man for the job. And don’t forget, this was during the era of Alan Shearer, Michael Owen, Teddy Sheringham, Les Ferdinand, Ian Wright, Andy Cole and Stan Collymore.
There was certainly more depth in the striking department than there is now. When I was travelling to join the squad, I’d be saying to myself, ‘why am I doing this, what’s the point?’. I knew that, unless something drastic happened, I wasn’t playing.
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I might get 10 minutes here or there and another cap for my country. But I never really thought of myself as an England player. At the time, it was a case of doing it for my country. There is a big sense of duty. It was a big ask just to break into the squad.
I made my Liverpool debut in 1993 and by the time I won my first England cap three years later, I’d scored almost 100 goals. Anyone with that kind record these days would be a shoo-in to get more game-time.
I played for five England managers and made the squad for Euro 96, Euro 2000 and the 2002 World Cup. But I knew that the only way I would play was if someone got injured or suspended. Can you imagine how conflicted that makes a footballer feel?
You’re part of the squad and you want your team and the lads you eat, drink and train with to do well for the country. But deep down you’re also thinking, ‘maybe he’ll get a knock, if he gets another yellow card he’ll be banned’.
It’s very tough to admit that you’re left hoping that something goes wrong just so you get a chance to play. Those thoughts won’t be going through Ivan Toney’s mind as he drives to St George’s Park to join England’s squad. But he’ll soon know what I’m talking about.
