Rob Howley admits he was "hugely disappointed" that a potential return to Welsh rugby as Warren Gatland's assistant coach was blocked by senior Welsh Rugby Union figures.
After returning for a second stint as Wales head coach, one of Gatland's first moves was to try and re-hire his former attack coach who was an integral part of Wales' backroom team for the entirety of the New Zealander's first 12 years in charge.
But a return for Howley, who has served his 18-month ban for breaching World Rugby's betting laws and now works for Rugby Canada, was blocked by the WRU board, who felt the timing wasn't right. Howley was sent home from the 2019 Rugby World Cup when the betting scandal broke.
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In an interview with The Daily Mail, 52-year-old Howley said: "Warren got in touch two weeks before Christmas and I’ve never seen a smile return to the faces of my girls, Megan and Rebecca, like it did that afternoon. They felt their dad had a great opportunity after a difficult few years, rehabbing to get back on track."
But a phone call from then-WRU chief executive Steve Phillips, who has since resigned, closed the door on Howley's hopes of returning to his beloved Wales.
"I had a call off then-CEO Steve Phillips, telling me the board had decided I was unable to return. I couldn’t understand it. Warren wanted me back and ultimately the head coach is pretty important in the organisational structure.
"I felt that I had done my time. A high court judge sat on the panel and gave me an 18-month suspension. I served my time. I was hugely disappointed, I couldn’t believe it had been turned down by the board. Christmas 2022 will be remembered for the wrong reasons.
"I thought it was in the past so it was tough to take when it was brought up again six months ago. To be told, 'No, you have to serve a little more time', it was disappointing. We all make errors in life and I made a huge one. Huge.
"I know I’m a better person and a better coach for what I’ve gone through. I wish my family and friends had never gone through that but it’s made me a better person and coach."
Gatland instead appointed attack coach Alex King, who briefly performed the role in 2017 when Howley deputised for Gatland while he was on Lions duty. Howley is now coaching the Toronto Arrows in Major League Rugby as part of his Rugby Canada role, something he says he "thoroughly" enjoys although it is a long way from home.
"I feel like I can add value and support to the [Wales] national team with my experience, and having worked with Warren for so many games," he added. "I know Alex King very well and he will do a great job with Wales. I’ve had discussions with Warren and hopefully the door is slightly ajar."
Gatland previously said of the WRU's decision: "You’d like to think that if anyone was going to be forgiving it would be the Welsh forgiving their own. It’s been over three years now but that’s not the case at the moment.
"Hopefully Rob will continue to be involved in rugby. He’s been involved with Canada and he’s had the backing of World Rugby who have been funding that position which is a real positive. I just think I’d like to see him involved at the highest possible level again in the future. I’ve got a huge amount of respect for Rob as a rugby coach. I’m sure that given the opportunity I will get the chance to work with him again in the future.
"But I’ve got to say I’m extremely lucky with Alex coming on board. I’ve worked with him before. I think he’ll add a lot."
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