Some would call it shameful. The reckless abandoning of the UK’s net zero commitments. The torching of environmental policies. All at a time when larger areas of southern Europe were suffering extreme temperatures. Rishi Sunak wouldn’t. He is a man with no sense of shame. Just the bizarre belief in his own infallibility. The absolute entitlement of the Boy King. Brought up to think he could do no wrong.
It’s week two of the Conservatives’ latest reinvention. Managed decline just isn’t cutting it any more. The country can’t take any more of a government whose only promise is to screw things up just a little slower than before. We’re on our knees already.
So Sunak has gone for the bright lights of pyrotechnics. Anything to make himself look a little different from Labour. Time to ease back on the green agenda. Why worry about 2050 when the real crunch date is 2024? The next election. After all, who in their right mind would vote for a party that was bothered about saving the planet? Fair to say that maybe Rish! hadn’t thought this one through. Hadn’t read the polling data on the popularity of green politics. That comes from letting Lee Anderson and Jonathan Gullis decide party policy.
But what the hell. Sunak was on a roll. Just a quick radio interview with BBC Radio Scotland and then he could fly off to Aberdeenshire to announce he was going to max out the gas and oil supplies in the North Sea. Or rather reannounce it, as he had already briefed the media on his plans the night before. No matter, Rish! was a past master at saying the same thing over and over again.
“Good morning,” said Martin Geissler, BBC Scotland’s morning presenter. “Even though we’ve been told we’re the lead interview, your office has told us we’ve only got five minutes … ”
“You’ve got rather less than that now,” replied Sunak snippily. Why couldn’t people appreciate just what an important and busy person he was? Journos should just be grateful for any time he gave them. Not keep moaning that it wasn’t enough. Didn’t they realise how much he had on his plate? Only the previous evening he had got a message from the housekeepers in California saying the pool boy was off sick. And he and the family were meant to be going later in the week. That pool wasn’t going to clean itself? Why was it always him who had to fix things?
Geissler interrupted Sunak’s train of thought. If you can call what he does when he’s not talking, thinking. “I just wanted to make it clear to our listeners that you haven’t allowed us enough time to do a proper interview. Just so they know why some questions may not get asked,” Geissler said.
Rish!, by now in a full on grump, said: “You can ask what you want but there’s no guarantee I’m going to answer anything. “Rather I’m just going to repeat a few mindless soundbites until the full five minutes are up. So let me start by making clear that we are in no way rowing back on any of our commitments to net zero by granting more than 100 new drilling licences.”
It was like this. The government was very much hoping the public was stupid enough to think that oil and gas would be in production within days of the licences being issued. As it was it would be about 20 years, by which time the world might well already have burned up. So no harm done. Why go to the effort of doing the right thing when the pragmatic and proportionate response was to do the wrong thing? Far better to do nothing than to not spend enough to avoid a climate crisis. Hell, why couldn’t the Greeks stop moaning and just stay inside and put the aircon on?
“Let me explain net zero again,” said Sunak when Geissler threatened to ask another question. “We will be meeting net zero by meeting net zero.” He couldn’t make it any plainer than that. The whole point about British oil and gas was that it was better than foreigners’ oil and gas. Much easier to carbon capture and store. At which point every listener in Scotland concluded their prime minister was a total halfwit. If that.
Because Rish! had no idea that British oil and gas was sold on the international market at global prices. So there were no discounts on offer for homegrown gas. Because Rish! had no idea that the real damage from fossil fuels came when they were used, not when they were imported. Because Rish! had no idea most oil and gas entered the country via underground pipelines. Because Rish! had forgotten that the licences didn’t guarantee energy security as they wouldn’t be producing anything for two decades. Because Rish! was Rish!. A man who couldn’t stop himself from taking the country for mugs.
“I’ve just been told that my five minutes are up and we’ve got nowhere,” said Geissler. More or less. It was in the tears of despair. So could he just ask how Sunak was travelling to Scotland. Plane, train or automobile. Or helicopter. Which reminded him. Must do something about those low chopper networks. So annoying when all the neighbours are flying at the same time.
Sunak was now in a mega strop. It was outrageous to expect him to take public transport. And he certainly wasn’t taking a commercial flight with the great unwashed. You didn’t know where the stale air had been. The germs. And sitting near to strangers. So of course he was taking another private flight. I mean, he wasn’t paying for it himself, so who cared?
“It’s the most efficient means of transport?” Rish! Added. Er, we’ll be the judge of that. Seeing as you’ve already announced all this already, maybe the most efficient thing to do would have been to stay at home. To give us a break from your hypocrisy. Let’s face it, taking a private jet isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of your commitment to net zero.
But Sunak wasn’t finished with Geissler. By attacking him for taking a private jet, the radio presenter was declaring war on everyone who had ever been on holiday. And no one deserved a holiday more than Rish! After all the sacrifices he had made last year to fight the Tory leadership election. The favour he had done to the nation. A leadership election he had lost. His family still hadn’t forgiven him for the hols they had missed. California Dreaming.
It was delusional stuff. Desperate. Maybe Sunak does need a holiday. The country could certainly do with a holiday away from him. As does the planet.
