January has always been silly season but Chelsea really are about to take it to another level.
Todd Boehly has been as giddy as a kid armed with a wallet bursting full of birthday money walking into Smyths since he took charge of Chelsea, getting all the toys he wants with little concern about the cost. However, where they differ is that a child would probably be a touch better at assembling a balanced roster of dolls and lego than Boehly has with footballers.
Chelsea are in an absolute state. Just as bad as Manchester United were before Erik ten Hag began to stop the rot. Since Boehly took ownership of Chelsea, he has spent close to a grotesque £300m having only bought the club in June - Wesley Fofana (£80m), Marc Cucurella (£60m), Raheem Sterling (£47.5m), Kalidou Koulibaly (£33m), Carney Chukwuemeka (£18m), Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (£10.5m), Gabriel Slonina (£12m) and David Datro Fofana (£9m).
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All of that is not even to mention the compensation costs of sacking Thomas Tuchel and the fee for prying Graham Potter away from Brighton. Oh, and a little loan fee for Denis Zakaria.
What have all those millions got Chelsea? Well, they would probably have been better off spending it on a team of plastic superheroes and Disney princesses instead. Chelsea have been largely dreadful this season. Two different and two very talented managers have been at the reins but there is little they can do with such an unbalanced squad lacking in real quality.
The only world-class players at Stamford Bridge are either on the wane like Thiago Silva or heavily injury-prone such as Reece James and N'golo Kante. So what to do in such a predicament other than throw more obscene amounts of money at the problem?
It appears as though Chelsea are closing in on smashing the British transfer record by signing World Cup star Enzo Fernandez at an eye-watering price, reported to be at least £112m. It's a ridiculous figure.
Fernandez certainly looks like an excellent player, if his displays in Qatar are anything to go by. It was his introduction, along with Julian Alvarez and Alexis Mac Allister, that transformed Argentina and saw them go on to lift the famous trophy. The thing is that's pretty much all we've got to go by. Fernandez is just 21 and only signed for Benfica in the summer. He has just 110 senior club appearances to his name and all but 25 of those came in his homeland.
A fee of £112m is a joke for practically any player but for one with such little experience, who could so easily fail to live up to his early promise, is just vulgar capitalism. Fair play to Benfica, though, they're set to make a profit of well over £100m for a player they've had just a few months.
While there are lessons in there all top clubs should heed - maybe look to scout talent when they cost less than £10m instead of £100m - it also shows the ridiculous nature of the January transfer window. Clubs get desperate. Selling clubs are no mugs and smell it like a shark hunting for blood. They naturally and justly inflate their prices and the smart ones rake in profits that can be put towards doing it all again.
January can be a fool's game and United are doing well to not fall into the trap. The club are by no means free of guilt when it comes to lavish and foolishly high spending (hello, Antony, Harry Maguire, the list goes on and on) but they have so far resisted the temptation to go guns blazing in the new year. Ten Hag's side needs extra firepower, one new striker at the very least.
Yet instead of bringing summer plans forward and making tempting offers for the likes of Victor Osimhen or others who would cost more than £100m, they are remaining calm and looking elsewhere. Trying to find value for a quality stop-gap so they can sign who they really want in the summer.
Ten Hag said last week: “It is always difficult, strikers are expensive and especially in the winter. You set the limits high so maybe we have to be creative. We will do everything in our power to get it done and get the right player who fits the balance. It is about timing, availability, about so many circumstances that play a role.”
Chelsea's spending in January, which doesn't look like it will end with Fernandez either, is helping to justify United's stance. It will look even better if they beat them to the top four.
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