Irish businessman Richard O’Halloran has told how he felt “totally” abandoned by the Irish Government during his detention in China.
The 46-year-old – who reunited with his wife and kids after three years in January – revealed he was in a dark place and turned to alcohol as a “coping mechanism”.
In his first interview since his return Richard said his weight plummeted from 95kg to 75kg as he struggled to eat and sleep due to the anxiety and loneliness.
The aviation leasing executive, from Foxrock in Co Dublin, had been trapped in China since travelling to Shanghai in February 2019 to try and resolve an ongoing commercial and legal issue involving the Chinese owner of the aircraft leasing company he works for, China International Aviation Leasing Service (CALS Ireland).
Richard said he felt very let down at times by Irish authorities for not getting involved with his case sooner.
And his devoted wife Tara told how on one occasion his health was so bad that he had to be rushed to hospital where he was resuscitated after his heart stopped.
But he said the whole experience has given him a new outlook on life – including falling in love with Tara “all over again”.
Speaking to Brendan O’Connor on RTE Radio One, he said he hit rock bottom and used drinking to cope with the dire situation he was in.
He said: “I turned in on myself, I felt very alone and very isolated. That was an extraordinary low point which I would just hope nobody has to go through, ever.
“Obviously I have talked to Tara and the kids but I turned completely in on myself. I felt completely isolated, I felt alone, I didn’t think the Irish Government were doing anything to help at the time even though they said they were.
“As a coping mechanism I was in the hotel and you start having a few drinks and one thing led to another – It’s alright until it’s not.”
“I’m not proud of it but I did crack in one way where I was drinking too much and I stopped.
“Trying to alleviate the stress, alleviate all of the anxiety and what have you. It was a huge turnaround.”
Asked how he pulled himself out of it, he said he owed it to his wife and kids to get better and he told himself: “I am going to have be strong and deal with the authorities here in China.”
And he said he told himself that he had to “get on with life, not feeling sorry for myself. I have a duty of care to Tara and the kids.”
His wife Tara said despite talking to him on the phone and in video calls, she was very concerned about his wellbeing.
She said: “Doing phone calls to try and help somebody when they are really in dark place is not an easy thing to do so that was frustrating.
“I just knew myself that no matter how unwell he was or how bad things had got that I just had to get him home one way or another, that was my job. I think that he was just going through such a dark stage where mentally he had just given up. As a way of protecting himself he just didn’t want to engage with us anymore.
“He was very unwell, he was hospitalised. He collapsed and was taken into hospital and his heart stopped, he had to be resuscitated and I think that was a horrible wake-up call.”
Richard said: “When I went over there I was 95kg and I dropped down to 75kg very quickly. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, anxiety and stress.”
And he said even the Chinese authorities could see the impact the situation was having on him: “The police were always respectful and apologised to me on numerous occasions because they could see the anxiety and stress that I was suffering. It was visible and they could see me deteriorating in front of their eyes, like literally.”
Richard said he went to the Irish consulate in Shanghai a day or two after being detained, he said of the time: “I was told it was a commercial matter and they could not engage,” he said.
“I thought the Department of Foreign Affairs was supposed to help Irish citizens abroad – what part of the police being involved made [my situation] a commercial matter? I had been restricted from leaving China. What do I do? I was really caught in the dark.”
And his wife Tara said she was told that the best way to get Richard home would be not to make it public.
“We did not even tell our close friends for some time. It was really awful to keep this deep dark secret from some people for almost a year. They knew that Richard was not around and some [may have] thought we had split up.”
Tara added that when he had been detained in China for about a year, she was “not going to sit and do nothing when nothing was happening. “That was when I started to speak to the media and try and raise awareness.
“But we should not have had to fight for three years. I had to shout pretty loudly to get somebody to help us.”
And Richard said for the first year, “It felt like radio silence from the consulate with chit chats and nothing more”. Asked if he felt totally abandoned by his country, he replied: “Totally.”
But he said one good thing which has come out of the whole experience is that he has fallen in love with his wife Tara all over again.
He said: “I have fallen in Tara all over again. It’s marvelous. Not that I wasn’t in love with her.
“It’s a new found respect, emotionally, I can’t describe it. It’s fantastic.”
Tara said herself and the kid still can’t believe Richard is home, she said: “The kids keep poking him to make sure he is there.
“It was the happiest day after three years of praying for him to come home. It was the best day of all our lives I can easily say.”
She said the family now appreciate the simple things in life, she said: “I think we are very grateful that he’s home. Like even having dinner together we are so grateful for that because we haven’t been able to do that.
“Even the school runs, he just wants to do everything he has missed over the last three years.
“The kids are being super well behaved, but that could change,’ she joked.
Richard said: “I was just glad to be able to go in my own front door to my own house and just be with the family, to start life over again because my life has been on hold for three years.
“For me it’s been on hold for three years but for Tara it has not been on hold. She has had to bring up four kids on her own. It was like a forced divorce imposed on us which I would not wish on anyone.
“I was shocked to see how tall they all had become. When I left Ben was up to my neck and he’s now over 6’2”, a strong strapping lad.
“I’m very fortunate in that we have all these mediums where we can communicate. When I first started in this industry when you would go away you would make a phone call at vast expense. Now I could video call Ben on his phone or video call Amber.
“I would try and help Tara, I would do the homework with the kids from Shanghai which was a bit of a new challenge.
“These are things that Tara and I tried to continue so that it made it the least difficult possible for the kids.
“Unfortunately I couldn’t do anything for Tara. Tara is so strong willed, powerful, I can’t describe enough of just how she kept me going.”
And when asked whether Richard has changed while being away, Tara said: “Definitely, for the better, not that there was anything wrong before. He says himself that he has come home with positivity for life and our family, he is just appreciative of every little thing.
“It’s an amazing gift to be given, and a new start for the whole family which we thought we would never get.
“It’s an opportunity out of something horrible which has happened to us.”
And when it comes to visiting China again, Richard said he won’t be travelling there any time soon: “I can’t, no.”
