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Sports Illustrated
Sports Illustrated
Entertainment
Nick Selbe

Reporters Fooled By Fake DeAndre Hopkins ‘Beaver Tranquilizer’ Report

They say if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. But apparently, 18 years is enough time to make that reference outdated.

Your mileage may vary on whether or not 2004’s Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story is a modern comedy classic, but it was popular enough in its time to gross over $168 million domestically. That didn’t stop a different reference from an iconic scene to go over the heads of plenty of Twitter users when applied to the recent PED suspension of Cardinals wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins.

First, a primer for those unfamiliar with the tale of Average Joe’s gym: Dodgeball follows a fledgling local gym owned by Vince Vaughn’s Peter La Fleur, who rounds up his co-workers into a dodgeball team to enter a high-stakes tournament in Las Vegas in order to secure prize money and save the gym from economic ruin. First, Joe’s must win a qualifying round, which they fail to do against a team comprised of Girl Scouts. The team ends up advancing on a technicality after one of the Girl Scouts tests positive for, as an official at the tournament reports, “three separate types of anabolic steroids and a low-grade beaver tranquilizer.”

Which brings us to Hopkins, who was suspended earlier this week for violating the NFL’s PED policy. A Twitter user made reference to the scene by saying that Hopkins had followed the same doping regimen as the Girl Scout from Dodgeball, and a look through the replies show that there were more than a few folks who were unfamiliar with the line.

If anything good comes out of Hopkins’s suspension, perhaps it will be bringing the inspirational tale of how Average Joe’s defeated Globo Gym back into the public consciousness. And, in case it still needs to be said: Kids, don’t take steroids or beaver tranquilizers to be better at sports.

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