“What the Hell Just Happened?” I’ll tell you what, the UK has unveiled a genuinely good Eurovision entry in the form of pop trio Remember Monday, the first girl group to represent since 1999. What the hell, indeed.
The big reveal of the act chosen to perform at the annual Eurovision song contest has, for the past decade, carried with it a sense of doom. Britain has a victim mentality when it comes to the world’s biggest singing competition – particularly since Brexit. Naysayers have claimed that politics is a sword of Damocles hanging over the head of whichever sacrificial lamb we decide to send to the slaughter. Never mind that the UK has in fact won five times, tied for the second-most wins with Luxembourg, France and the Netherlands, with Ireland and Sweden claiming the most wins (seven).
In truth – and as any true Eurovision fan knows – the UK is its own worst enemy. With the exception of 2022 runner-up Sam Ryder, who dazzled the public voters and the jury with his golden voice and golden retriever energy, our more recent history is a graveyard of forgettable, identikit ballads performed by quailing pop singers. None of whom can hope to compete against delegates from countries who better understand what voters look for in a winning candidate.
Give it up for Remember Monday, then, who have co-written what sounds like the result of a drunken one-night stand between Meatloaf’s “Bat Out of Hell” and Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club”. There’s certainly a touch of Queen and Elton John in those dramatic piano crescendos, squalling guitar riffs and bombastic blasts of synth – this is a full-scale production, brimming with fun and flair.
The lyrics, too, present Remember Monday as actual personalities (crucial for Eurovision), with the kind of winking, tongue-in-cheek tone that made Little Mix so endearing. Thematically, it’s reminiscent of Katy Perry’s 2011 bop “Last Friday Night (TGIF)” and Carrie Underwood’s “Last Name”, a piecing-together of the messiness of the previous evening: “Broke a heel, lost my keys, scraped my knee/When I fell from the chandelier…/ Ripped my dress, call an ex, I confess/ I’m obsessed, not the best idea…”
There’s a devil-may-care hedonism to it, the kind Britain seems to yearn for right now. In the midst of a cost of living crisis and a particularly bleak news cycle, “What the Hell Just Happened?” does for pop what Disney’s Jilly Cooper adaptation Rivals did for TV. It’s a throwback to carefree times, when the biggest thing you had to worry about was whether you did call your ex after five shots of tequila. How will they fare at Eurovision? No idea, but I like it.
