You’d hope that by the time you’re in your mid-twenties and moved out, your parents won’t have as much control over you as they did while you were still living under their roof. But, for some parents, letting go can be hard.
One woman found out just how hard after her parents showed up unannounced during her first date with a longtime friend. With no idea how they found her, the confused woman turned to Reddit to share the text messages she exchanged with them following their audacious ambush.
More info: Reddit
Overbearing parents can be an absolute nightmare, as this woman found out, much to her horror
Image credits: Taha / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
While out on her first date with a longtime friend, her parents showed up entirely out of the blue
Image credits: Ranedrops143
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
While the friend beat a hasty retreat, the woman was left in a state of utter shock
Image credits: Ranedrops143
Image credits: Ranedrops143
Image credits: Ranedrops143
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When she confronted her parents by text about how they knew where she was, they refused to tell her unless it was in person
Image credits: Ranedrops143
Image credits: Ranedrops143
Image credits: Ranedrops143
Image credits: Ranedrops143
Weirded out by their stalker behavior, the woman went online to vent and share the heated text exchange that followed in a series of screenshots
OP begins her post by telling the community that she set (or at least thought she set) a healthy boundary with her parents: they were no longer going to decide who she dates or how she dates. Despite this, and the fact that OP is 24 and moved out, her parents showed up on her first date with a guy she’s been friends with for years.
According to OP, her parents at first wanted to chaperone, but when she told them no, they tracked the couple, waited outside the location of the date, and then demanded OP and her love interest speak with them. The pair declined the stalking parents, but the woman turned to Reddit to share the heated text exchange she had with them afterwards.
In just 6 screenshots, OP asks them repeatedly how they knew where she was. They reply by saying they’ll tell her, but only in person. OP refuses before her dad goes on to accuse the couple of “not doing right” and “hiding”, while at the same time casting aspersions on the character of her date.
The texts then ramble on a bit with overtones of Christian beliefs and feature some more allegations about the woman’s date’s true intentions before OP tells them that she feels stalked, that what they did is unfair, and finally reveals that her date has now asked her for space.
From what OP tells us in her post, it would definitely seem like her parents have no respect for her admittedly healthy boundaries. Their behavior may be bordering on toxic, in addition to entitled and definitely creepy. After all, what right did they have to involve themselves in their adult daughter’s love life? And how should OP deal with their controlling nature moving forward? We went looking for answers.
Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In her article for Choosing Therapy, Ashley Stuck writes that parents who always dictate your choices, undermine your independence, or constantly demand obedience can create a situation where it’s difficult to feel capable, confident, or, indeed, free to be yourself.
According to Stuck, recognizing the signs of controlling parenting is an important first step in understanding how it affects you and in reclaiming control of your own life.
Some signs of controlling parents include offering conditional love, demanding blind obedience and conformity, threatening abandonment, interfering in all aspects of their adult child’s life, invalidating feelings, over-involving themselves in social relationships, and mostly giving negative criticism.
In her article for PsychCentral, Marissa Moore writes that coping with overbearing parents can be challenging, but there are several strategies that can help you out.
A few of these include using ‘I statements’ that are less likely to produce a defensive response, setting healthy boundaries about what, and what isn’t, acceptable behavior, and limiting what you share if your parents have a habit of criticizing your decisions.
Perhaps OP needs to reiterate her boundaries to her parents but, this time, make it clear that there will be consequences if they’re not respected. No stalking should probably be top of her list.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Have you got your own story of parents who crossed the line? Let us know in the comments!
Readers in the comments swiftly concluded how creepy the parents’ ambush was and one even wondered how the woman could be so calm despite the level of crazy in her post
