“Could you please suggest some books related to self-development,” a young man asked. An appropriate answer did not strike me instantly since I had not read any specific book for my self-development as a child or an adult.
Self-development, to me, is not an end in itself but a continuous process resulting from fierce scrutiny of oneself in different times, spaces and contexts while dealing with people, places and institutions. When one is young, the family, the peer group, schools, teachers and elders become reference points. Their habits and responses to different situations intensely affect a tender mind. For instance, I have been amazed by my father’s routine of waking up at 4 a.m. and spending at least two hours on his lifelong passion for medicine, literature and poetry. I learnt from him to make sacrifices for one’s passion. Similarly, I was deeply influenced by my mother’s empathy and kindness to one and all, both critics and admirers.
Stories, fables, folk tales and classics made an indelible impact. Unfortunately, my grandparents were not alive to tell me stories, and my parents told me some. Chandamama, a children’s magazine, fulfilled that need to some extent. I read the Ramayana and the Mahabharata as a young boy, which elevated my imagination and curiosity. I listened to the Puranas and Bhagavatha. As I grew up, I read other epics, classics and literature of other cultures. I watched dance, drama and theatre. I learned to appreciate music.
Three books which stuck with me immensely when I was young were Parajaa and Maati Mataala of Odia novelist Gopinath Mohanty and Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea. Mohanty’s exquisite literary craftsmanship was dipped in the acute sense of humanism. Hemingway, of course, opened a new way of thinking — how to express what to express with precision and intensity. Reading a good book is like interacting with a brilliant mind, and there is no substitute for it for self-development.
As I entered adulthood, I struggled to balance body and beauty, emotion and logic, diffidence and decisiveness, dreams and reality, and failure and success. Every failure offered me an opportunity to introspect and made me stronger and bolder; every relationship made me mature and wiser. Every personal loss taught me to value the near and dear ones more. As I started working, I met many personalities with different skills and expertise — academics, bureaucrats, businesspeople, diplomats, sportspersons, artists and filmmakers. Some contributed to the sharpening of my understanding of things, beings, and situations and, in the process, self-development.
Institutions, organisations, and places contributed immensely. I spent the best two years of my high school at the school that produced Netaji Subash Chandra Bose. The school environment was electric then, which taught me to strive for excellence and value hard work. In college and university, I met fellow travellers better organised and equipped than me to face the world. I admired many of their qualities and tried to imbibe some that suited my habits and lifestyle. As a diplomat, I served in and travelled to many countries and got acquainted with the unique cultural traits of people and societies. I learned to be flexible, tolerant, and non-judgemental.
I am hesitant to suggest “self-development” as a project for which one can read specific books in a time-bound manner. For me, it is a never-ending practice of introspection till one lives. Each individual is different, endowed with different abilities, passions, and dispensations. So are their circumstances. As one passes through the various stages of life, one must recognise one’s strengths and weaknesses and consolidate the strengths while overcoming the shortcomings. It’s an inward-looking activity, and people, institutions, situations, and books can only help one provide choices for personal growth and self-development.
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