You're a good listener. But when someone tries to explain something, you freeze up.
Even an attentive listener can struggle to retain a fusillade of facts. It's especially hard when taking in unfamiliar or highly technical topics.
Rather than give up, bear down. Take steps to retain what you hear and be a good listener by devising a strategy to reduce what the speaker says into bite-size chunks.
Better yet, jump in with questions. Slow the speaker's rate of speech so that you can capture key points, one at a time.
A Good Listener Keeps Digging
Speakers may not convey complex concepts in easy-to-understand nuggets. Unless you speak up, they may continue to reel off instructions that are hard to remember.
Consider how physicians explain an ailment, suggest a treatment and describe how you should best apply it. No matter how well you listen, it's easy to fall behind.
"Ask open-ended questions and go three deep," said Dana Dupuis, founder of ECHO Listening Intelligence, a consulting firm in Boulder, Colo. "Follow up three times. That helps you get into the depth of the subject matter enough to retain it." Two-way communication is always more effective.
Adopt A Listening Habit
You may think you should stay completely still to listen well. But a little motion can actually activate your mental acuity and help you retain what you hear.
"Doodling can enhance retention," said Dupuis, who's also director of listening at Mandel Communications, a communication skills training firm.
"Listening is a brain-based function," she added. "Certain types of brains that tend to wander will get more focused" when they doodle, tap a pencil or adopt other tactile habits while they listen.
Take Notes
Just as it helps to doodle or otherwise engage your senses to focus better, write your notes rather than type them into a keyboard.
"You remember more when you physically write," said David Horsager, author of "The Trust Edge." He favors an iPad pencil or reMarkable 2 tablet to take handwritten notes.
Stay In The Game
Distractions can chip away at your listening, even if you're eager to capture a speaker's points. That's why you need to harness all your mental energy to listen to learn.
Speakers tend to talk at a rate of 125 to 175 words per minute, Dupuis says. Yet people have the capacity to listen to about 600 words per minute.
"Listen in the present moment," she said. "Don't fill in the gap" by making assumptions or misinterpreting the speaker's remarks.
Map It Out
When conveying complex information, speakers rarely present it in a tidy, numbered outline. It's more likely that they zigzag around, glossing over key points while belaboring extraneous details.
Your job is to retain what you hear in a coherent manner. That requires discipline, patience and the ability to rank the importance of each strand of a speaker's explanation.
"Use an organizing schema in your head," said Alex Lyon, a professor of communication at SUNY Brockport.
Identify the speaker's main point along with the supporting details. Then group those details into numbered subheadings or tabs to help you retain what you hear.
You can jot a visual map as you listen, Lyon adds. For example, summarize the main point across the top of the page, create two or three columns and place each detail in the relevant column.
Repeat Aloud
As you listen, paraphrase every so often to confirm you're getting it right. When motormouths hit their stride, you may need to interrupt politely to slow them down.
"Cue people by saying, 'Let me make sure I understand accurately,' " Lyon said.
